Lesson Learnt

Today i humiliated myself and did things i wish i hadn't..
then again, these are lessons learnt... sobbies..
like today when i sms jeremy regarding the job, i could have like sounded less confrontational...
perhaps.. it's today's job at jurong? a better question to ask...
anyhows it got cancelled.. the whole thing postponed to after cny where i dun tink i can work anymore.. and there goes the $800 bucks.. sobbies...
then i woke up late.. missed lunch with the bunch... dim sum!
couldn;t go cos i had to go back sch for the freshman sem..
and when i went for it.. it was not bad..
i felt psyched up for it tho.. hope i have the stamina to pull thru this entire sem..
i foresee an good learning journey if i put heart in it and not simply try to skive and cruise.
anyw.. i tried to ask for help from the co-ordinator when i had troubles with the reading..
i needed to get the files cos i screwed up with the downloads..
and guess what he said..
"so do you know any friends that has the file and can help you?"
"not yet"
"come ask me again at the end of the seminar"
diaoz...
in the end a kind klasmate informed me that i could ask ivle for help..
anyhows, met jiang sheng, siying and jin rong in the end..
and played a few rounds of contract bridge..
and.. without conventions and erm.. superb play.. we lost terribly.. sigh
but the part thing was that i flared up.. being passionate abt it.. and seeing bridge being played almost flambouyantly..it got to me.. sigh
but like they say, pai pin hao, ren pin jiu hao..
i guess i'm still not up to the mark yet.
den we went for bridge still.
played with wing hang. a fresh partnership.
so had many things to iron out.
took us a while to warm up and start playing bridge.
think the best game was the 3d made..
haha.. the situation seemed dire... but i made use of everything i've learnt and we made! woohoo! i can still recall the expression.. of puzzle when i refused to cover the lead of KH with dummy's ace, and drop my queen under the king.. haha...
this is to set up the suit later! if i cover with ace liao how i set up.. ruff like twice meh... not worth.. jsut swapping a safe heart loser for the dangerous club loser. woohoo!
then we got into some weird contracts sometime.. but thanks to the sanity of my partner.. most of it turned out fine..(those not we had to iron out)
went back to bedok in the end. debated with wing hang over the use of transfer and stayman for the whole journey. think he was convinced in the end.
oh wells.. guess the debate took alot of energy out of me.. and had me going for supper..

at the end of everything..including a stupid moment of courage i decided to take..
i figured.. i'm just a kid.. nothing more.. 21 year old kid. a lil bai huo.. really needed to learn more.. need to improve on interpersonal communication. speak properly and interestingly.
engaging to ppl, seeming more sincere(ironic?).
guess all this comes with maturity..
suddenly had the urge to grow up. not simply be a kid.
but still, despite the humiliation, i appreciate the gentle slap of reality.
made me see more. made me grow a lil more.
how funny it is that the conventional never helps me to grow..
it's the way out things that teaches yu the most.
oh wells.. guess i should retire and play mahjong with the rest tml at choo choo's place.
nite nite! if i can sleep alright..