a lazy, rainy and boring saturday filled with tuition, project and a bdae celebration for my cousin(which i think is the best out of the 3 obviously).
doing research on how ammonia can replace water as a medium for life..
and guess what, i chanced upon a wiki article on supercooling...
haha.. not that i'm being galileon.... but.. ya.. just reminds me of some mockery that i receive at times when i was right and certain yet due to my unconvincing delivery invited humouring responses in semi-mockery. even silly things like "here won't have lighting problem" while helping some strangers take a photo.. shrugs.. the kids have no idea of their own about Life i guess..
and all these brings me to the main point. a lesson learned, unlearned and relearned.
sometimes, i simply need to trust myself. do not blindly cast the shadow of doubt when stupidity inflates like an bubble ego. common sense is not common, and brilliance is a sight only for those who can See. then again, we are all humans, we all make errors some where.. so let's give and take, and hope that eventually these errors cancel out and we'd all be home safe and dry.
but right now, i still have trouble with trusting most others with stuff.. some things absolutely cannot be taken for granted! and sadly i am a stingy person when it comes to giving the benefit of the doubt and positivity. maybe that's why i find solace in solitude. oh wells...
anyhows, LG cookie quite chio leh.. but fh480 is good enough for me, except.. everyone else has it. =_=
a repeat of the pedro shoes mimickry. *shrugs*
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Yum!
haha i know this is random, but auntie's fried noodles are very nice.. but i feel paiseh cos she's very nice and treats me food everytime.. >.<
*growing fatter and uglier*
*growing fatter and uglier*
Xiao bai~!
sigh... finally sent my xiao bai for repairs at sony..
they took him in without a 2nd word..
but the repairs are gonna take like a week..
which means.... i'm gonna be put out of action for one whole week.... =(
and that is the 1st week of sch. well done.
the saving grace was that i join the others at the timbre outing that huiyang organised.
and good lad! it was a great success, and i did enjoy myself there.
not with the alcohol, but with the company and talk that we had. when more and more left as it was late, the nature of convo turned from nonsense beer talk to serious man talk.
haha.. something i'd always enjoy tho of course no man spills all his beans on a single occasion.
but i was totally surprised when xiao jie was gian to go play...
haha totally din expect that ppl would actually want to go.. and a girl at that, not some aj or wad..
which reminds me the fella on the next table which chin seng apparently knows...
this fella had been like taking pictures non-stop la... which was kinda irritating.. but oh wells...
i kinda realised that this week, it's amazing how i haven't touch mahjong one bit?
instead i seemed to have touched alcohol more than like the start of the year till now (discounting the 2 bottles of cabernet i had on diff occasions). haha i think it kinda rekindled the social chiongster in me. but... times are bad so.. sheng yi dian lah. everytime i'd spend a lot on alcohol, with all my fav drinks... many long island tea, the flaming lambo, graveyard(i dun like it one bit, but always end up ordering it).. and the shots that i have not bought for like a gazillion years! haha.. guess it's time to work hard hard and make more money money so that i can play hard hard.. hahahaha...
anyhow had this sudden random thought....
if females are all trouble, then i guess it's no wonder why some guys love to get into trouble.
but i guess i should keep clear of trouble. *shrugs*
they took him in without a 2nd word..
but the repairs are gonna take like a week..
which means.... i'm gonna be put out of action for one whole week.... =(
and that is the 1st week of sch. well done.
the saving grace was that i join the others at the timbre outing that huiyang organised.
and good lad! it was a great success, and i did enjoy myself there.
not with the alcohol, but with the company and talk that we had. when more and more left as it was late, the nature of convo turned from nonsense beer talk to serious man talk.
haha.. something i'd always enjoy tho of course no man spills all his beans on a single occasion.
but i was totally surprised when xiao jie was gian to go play...
haha totally din expect that ppl would actually want to go.. and a girl at that, not some aj or wad..
which reminds me the fella on the next table which chin seng apparently knows...
this fella had been like taking pictures non-stop la... which was kinda irritating.. but oh wells...
i kinda realised that this week, it's amazing how i haven't touch mahjong one bit?
instead i seemed to have touched alcohol more than like the start of the year till now (discounting the 2 bottles of cabernet i had on diff occasions). haha i think it kinda rekindled the social chiongster in me. but... times are bad so.. sheng yi dian lah. everytime i'd spend a lot on alcohol, with all my fav drinks... many long island tea, the flaming lambo, graveyard(i dun like it one bit, but always end up ordering it).. and the shots that i have not bought for like a gazillion years! haha.. guess it's time to work hard hard and make more money money so that i can play hard hard.. hahahaha...
anyhow had this sudden random thought....
if females are all trouble, then i guess it's no wonder why some guys love to get into trouble.
but i guess i should keep clear of trouble. *shrugs*
Friday, February 27, 2009
weary
i never liked playing games... it is tiring and the worst thing is that, in the end, nobody gains anything. it's a war that nobody wins. so why get into it?
i think we should be rational when the time calls for it.
Rationality is the best insurance policy, tho it sucks out the all the fun out of everything.
i think we should be rational when the time calls for it.
Rationality is the best insurance policy, tho it sucks out the all the fun out of everything.
Eason
I am fondly reminded of why i love eason songs despite their melancholic themes and my inability to sing them.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Mambo
went for mambo on wed night.. and it was a funny night
1st there was this random guy who helped me cut the queue and for once, i became the first person in zouk!
and 2nd, i guess it was extremely lucky for me to have met lynette there. i do rem like seeing her in the queue and found her familiar, but din realise if it was her. it was until i entered the club to wait for my other friends that i realised that it was really her when she said hi to me.
and it was a coincidence to meet alex and jason. totally unexpected.
and on the down note i think i had drank too much. 5 cocktails(with my last long island unaccounted for, i dunno what happened to it) and a beer, it made me have a hangover the next day and much to explain for. guess i'm getting old, can't drink as much as i used to...
and it was scary today.. cos at 5 pm.. i started experiencing angina.... guess i'd better see the doc asap. it is a strange feeling, that i was ready to leave should i really pass on. just that the thought that if it really went so was sad.. cos it wouldn't have been discovered until much much later since i'm staying alone now.
but things that are meant to be, shall be.. shall be...
1st there was this random guy who helped me cut the queue and for once, i became the first person in zouk!
and 2nd, i guess it was extremely lucky for me to have met lynette there. i do rem like seeing her in the queue and found her familiar, but din realise if it was her. it was until i entered the club to wait for my other friends that i realised that it was really her when she said hi to me.
and it was a coincidence to meet alex and jason. totally unexpected.
and on the down note i think i had drank too much. 5 cocktails(with my last long island unaccounted for, i dunno what happened to it) and a beer, it made me have a hangover the next day and much to explain for. guess i'm getting old, can't drink as much as i used to...
and it was scary today.. cos at 5 pm.. i started experiencing angina.... guess i'd better see the doc asap. it is a strange feeling, that i was ready to leave should i really pass on. just that the thought that if it really went so was sad.. cos it wouldn't have been discovered until much much later since i'm staying alone now.
but things that are meant to be, shall be.. shall be...
Misunderstood.
you can't please everyone. and everyone is inconsistent.
and it's often easy to give the wrong idea.
it's simply saddening that this is something that occurs to me often.
i am not good at expressing myself, nor hiding myself.
and i end up conveying the wrong ideas to people..
i'm beginning to give up on this. i am too tired to try to clarify things.
and some things are simply best unknown cos ignorance is bliss.
and sometimes i simply dunno what i am thinking. i am just tired.
i don't want to care anymore. the best i can hope for is just that the right idea gets to the people that matter. those who don't, just too bad. for me and for them.
and it's often easy to give the wrong idea.
it's simply saddening that this is something that occurs to me often.
i am not good at expressing myself, nor hiding myself.
and i end up conveying the wrong ideas to people..
i'm beginning to give up on this. i am too tired to try to clarify things.
and some things are simply best unknown cos ignorance is bliss.
and sometimes i simply dunno what i am thinking. i am just tired.
i don't want to care anymore. the best i can hope for is just that the right idea gets to the people that matter. those who don't, just too bad. for me and for them.
Apathy.
sometimes i feel i destined to be alone.
it had been a long way, and a even longer way to go..
and along the way, i've seen and met many ppl.
some greater, some lesser, but none my equal.
and for most of these ppl, i seem to hold no love.
sometimes i dunno what i think or feel about them.
i guess such things go both ways.
i am simply unimportant to others. a mere insignificance.
it had been a long way, and a even longer way to go..
and along the way, i've seen and met many ppl.
some greater, some lesser, but none my equal.
and for most of these ppl, i seem to hold no love.
sometimes i dunno what i think or feel about them.
i guess such things go both ways.
i am simply unimportant to others. a mere insignificance.
binding and uninhibition
i'm reminded of my fav anime series, evangelion.
and now i have come to appreciate more the bindings i put on to rein myself.
i had always thought it had been a barrier that stops me from unleashing the latent potential.
i detested it.
i like alcohol. cos it seemed the easiest way to drop the inhibitions, and for that short period of time i'd feel liberated from the bindings i imposed on myself. i thought that was a freedom.
but now i truly realise-the nature of this freedom, and its destructive capabilities.
the bindings is what that keeps me safe, from all the trouble i would have invited if i had been completely uninhibited.
for that i really need to reflect on myself and count my blessings.
learn from the mistakes and master this inner power.
and now i have come to appreciate more the bindings i put on to rein myself.
i had always thought it had been a barrier that stops me from unleashing the latent potential.
i detested it.
i like alcohol. cos it seemed the easiest way to drop the inhibitions, and for that short period of time i'd feel liberated from the bindings i imposed on myself. i thought that was a freedom.
but now i truly realise-the nature of this freedom, and its destructive capabilities.
the bindings is what that keeps me safe, from all the trouble i would have invited if i had been completely uninhibited.
for that i really need to reflect on myself and count my blessings.
learn from the mistakes and master this inner power.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
in retrospect.
hm.. din see yu online but i guess and hope yu'd be happy with yur dar.
dunno who the lucky person is, but at the lightless corner of the street, i wish yu all the best.
hope yu'd no longer walk down the lonely memory lane.
no longer blame yurself for what went wrong in the past.
and just like yu said, love like yu've never been hurt before and dance like yu nobody's watching.
and somehow i realised sth. perhaps i knew it all along.
ppl have this jian-ness in them. something that makes things more attractive to them when competition arises. that makes me kinda think:
ppl in love look more radiant.
ppl in demand seem more attractive.
*shrugs*
really hope i'd finally find the one who simply likes me just for who i am.
dunno who the lucky person is, but at the lightless corner of the street, i wish yu all the best.
hope yu'd no longer walk down the lonely memory lane.
no longer blame yurself for what went wrong in the past.
and just like yu said, love like yu've never been hurt before and dance like yu nobody's watching.
and somehow i realised sth. perhaps i knew it all along.
ppl have this jian-ness in them. something that makes things more attractive to them when competition arises. that makes me kinda think:
ppl in love look more radiant.
ppl in demand seem more attractive.
*shrugs*
really hope i'd finally find the one who simply likes me just for who i am.
ending.
an msn nick ends a dream.
guess it could be a blessing in disguise. who knows?
after all, when one door closes, another door opens.
and who says the closed door won't ever open again?
but something tells me..
we are the same type of people.
my sense is rarely wrong.
guess it could be a blessing in disguise. who knows?
after all, when one door closes, another door opens.
and who says the closed door won't ever open again?
but something tells me..
we are the same type of people.
my sense is rarely wrong.
broke
need to work for more more money!!!!
been broke lately lor.. and that means i have to spend my dollars and cents more wisely..
so.. here goes..
anyway, went to voices emerge concert today.
and boy was it a great show!
such a downer when the crowd is not warm..
but the energy from the performers were indeed enough.
their dance wasn't exactly impressive.. not cos of the moves, but cos of the execution.
now then i appreciate what weiting had been trying to drill into us during rag, all the force, and going all out..
still, could see they have put alot of effort into it.
and of course, the singing was superb.
the most amazing was this guy who sounded totally like a powerful female singer with his falsetto... shen liao lah!
and there was weiquan.. whom i finally have the chance to hear from! as in literally.
had always heard abt his fantastic singing, but never had the chance to experience. my wish was finally fulfilled tonight.. and all thanks to angeline who did me the nice nice favour of reserving the tix. hee...
what a way to start the holidays! =)
sure hope everything goes upwards from here!
been broke lately lor.. and that means i have to spend my dollars and cents more wisely..
so.. here goes..
anyway, went to voices emerge concert today.
and boy was it a great show!
such a downer when the crowd is not warm..
but the energy from the performers were indeed enough.
their dance wasn't exactly impressive.. not cos of the moves, but cos of the execution.
now then i appreciate what weiting had been trying to drill into us during rag, all the force, and going all out..
still, could see they have put alot of effort into it.
and of course, the singing was superb.
the most amazing was this guy who sounded totally like a powerful female singer with his falsetto... shen liao lah!
and there was weiquan.. whom i finally have the chance to hear from! as in literally.
had always heard abt his fantastic singing, but never had the chance to experience. my wish was finally fulfilled tonight.. and all thanks to angeline who did me the nice nice favour of reserving the tix. hee...
what a way to start the holidays! =)
sure hope everything goes upwards from here!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
oops...
guess i'm really a non convo person... >.<
i tried to start a convo with this person, and apparently i mis-expressed myself.. sobbies.. what a diff be lah and le... and i dunno how the hell i typed lah when i meant le...
check this out..
"too free liao le arh?" vs "too free liao lah arh?"
=_=...
think must do something about dailo's observation that i talk fiercely sometimes... sigh.
in retrospect..i should have simply kept quiet, like i should have with my 2D overcall on 1D opening by RHO. or simply dun do stunts.. just a "haha.. how come so free?" would have been simple and nice right.. or do a pass instead of 2D. sigh.
oh wells, some things are not within my control, and i am NOT gonna turn desperate like gigi in the movie, tho she did become "an exception" in the end. but... that's the movies man! exceptions can happen like free, anything, anytime, anytype. zuo xi only, shen me dou ke yi la...!
haiz, back to life. think i need to work on my consistency. i do admit eddie and deric is indeed a promising partnership for nus contract bridge. it just feels bad la... i mean who wouldn't like a pat on the back and being told you have potential or even better, you've realised the potential.
it's just kinda sick, but really. i'm sure i am not that bad myself... but it's just hard to get a nice partnership? and to top it all off, i can get quite temperamental over it.. ie not so good players, will get me real frustrated.. =(
which gets me down... think i must must must must do carding for team c...
this is the 2nd time i have to deal with this. people rising with their ace to no good gain.
i really think this generation is about instant gratification. 1st there was an occasion when someone rose with the ace and gave away a club slam, and now another one lets a game through and dares argue with me the it makes no difference. well done. perhaps i shall show you the light? and i know the secret behind playing poorly. partnership.
there is a HUGE difference between playing as a pair and 2 seperate individuals.
when you play as a pair, you think of how the both of you can get the most number of tricks, not the most number of tricks you can get alone!
ie, it doesn't matter if the ace doesn't get a trick when your partner can yield the 2 tricks that are needed. it's simple. and why make life easier for the opps. sigh.
oh wells... think i better think of how to redeem myself, and others.
i tried to start a convo with this person, and apparently i mis-expressed myself.. sobbies.. what a diff be lah and le... and i dunno how the hell i typed lah when i meant le...
check this out..
"too free liao le arh?" vs "too free liao lah arh?"
=_=...
think must do something about dailo's observation that i talk fiercely sometimes... sigh.
in retrospect..i should have simply kept quiet, like i should have with my 2D overcall on 1D opening by RHO. or simply dun do stunts.. just a "haha.. how come so free?" would have been simple and nice right.. or do a pass instead of 2D. sigh.
oh wells, some things are not within my control, and i am NOT gonna turn desperate like gigi in the movie, tho she did become "an exception" in the end. but... that's the movies man! exceptions can happen like free, anything, anytime, anytype. zuo xi only, shen me dou ke yi la...!
haiz, back to life. think i need to work on my consistency. i do admit eddie and deric is indeed a promising partnership for nus contract bridge. it just feels bad la... i mean who wouldn't like a pat on the back and being told you have potential or even better, you've realised the potential.
it's just kinda sick, but really. i'm sure i am not that bad myself... but it's just hard to get a nice partnership? and to top it all off, i can get quite temperamental over it.. ie not so good players, will get me real frustrated.. =(
which gets me down... think i must must must must do carding for team c...
this is the 2nd time i have to deal with this. people rising with their ace to no good gain.
i really think this generation is about instant gratification. 1st there was an occasion when someone rose with the ace and gave away a club slam, and now another one lets a game through and dares argue with me the it makes no difference. well done. perhaps i shall show you the light? and i know the secret behind playing poorly. partnership.
there is a HUGE difference between playing as a pair and 2 seperate individuals.
when you play as a pair, you think of how the both of you can get the most number of tricks, not the most number of tricks you can get alone!
ie, it doesn't matter if the ace doesn't get a trick when your partner can yield the 2 tricks that are needed. it's simple. and why make life easier for the opps. sigh.
oh wells... think i better think of how to redeem myself, and others.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Abt growing up.
He's just not that into you.
haha.. it was a funny movie.
and when i say funny, i dun mean it as hilarious.. but how it all seems funny when you recall with reference to real life events.
in short, it was simply a satire.
and it did provide some insight, and affirmed certain observations i've made. lolz!
feels good that "great minds think alike" has indeed been fulfiled today.
but of course, guess good things dun simply come for free everytime.
today was a weird day.
a day with series of unfortunate events.
first i got awoke by a series of sms...
one was to seek reinforcement
the other tempts me into a dilemma... and thank god the situation left me with no choice.. else i'd give in as usual given my great love for mahjong.
went to lunch late cos of some windows update prob.. think i should get it to the it care centre asap to see what can be done...
anyhows, met up with shuyi, tgt with jas and jh for the movie.
and it was totally bad fortune.. when all the seats were filled quickly.
as a result, we had to watch the 7pm show at the cathay..
but then again, perhaps it ain't really simply bad luck.. maybe could have booked the tix before hand.. but then again.. perhaps like what the movie said, people all love a lil drama in their lives i guess. *shrugs*
ended at 9 odd, with waysi calling me in the middle of the movie. followed by wesley.
totally had me worried for 5 mins, fearing for the worst.. and thank god it wasn't... and i shall not speak of it in view of being pantang. and guess who i saw...
j c
such aa coincidence... totally made me at a loss. should i say hi or should i just act blur cos i;d prob be ignored... i dun rem leaving any fond memories. i think i suck at bad situations.. esp those which all parties will be at fault.. i dun do well in minimizing the amount of wrong stuff i do.. something not right is initiated and i simply let the wrong things happen instead of taking the best possible action... in other words, succumb to temptation and in the end, make a ugly exit.
it happened in the past and it happened again. but this time at least i have been more justified. since i had declared to be in a bad mood, relentless taunts had been made. and then i decided to pull no more punches and to spare the rod no more. guess people are just like that.. not everyone appreciates anymore.. many take things for granted.
since when has being treated nicely been an entitlement? by what virtue of the recipient is the grace entitled? is it not instead a virtue of the giver? this has failed to be understood, let alone be appreciated. understanding manifests in action, not in the mere words "I do...."; the same case for appreciation. guess sometimes, somethings are simply phases of life where one has to go through, only after having been there, done that would one realise.
sometimes, things are quite simple. before playing, just make sure you are game for it. else, don't play. perhaps sometimes, some people need love most; even more so than others.
haha.. it was a funny movie.
and when i say funny, i dun mean it as hilarious.. but how it all seems funny when you recall with reference to real life events.
in short, it was simply a satire.
and it did provide some insight, and affirmed certain observations i've made. lolz!
feels good that "great minds think alike" has indeed been fulfiled today.
but of course, guess good things dun simply come for free everytime.
today was a weird day.
a day with series of unfortunate events.
first i got awoke by a series of sms...
one was to seek reinforcement
the other tempts me into a dilemma... and thank god the situation left me with no choice.. else i'd give in as usual given my great love for mahjong.
went to lunch late cos of some windows update prob.. think i should get it to the it care centre asap to see what can be done...
anyhows, met up with shuyi, tgt with jas and jh for the movie.
and it was totally bad fortune.. when all the seats were filled quickly.
as a result, we had to watch the 7pm show at the cathay..
but then again, perhaps it ain't really simply bad luck.. maybe could have booked the tix before hand.. but then again.. perhaps like what the movie said, people all love a lil drama in their lives i guess. *shrugs*
ended at 9 odd, with waysi calling me in the middle of the movie. followed by wesley.
totally had me worried for 5 mins, fearing for the worst.. and thank god it wasn't... and i shall not speak of it in view of being pantang. and guess who i saw...
j c
such aa coincidence... totally made me at a loss. should i say hi or should i just act blur cos i;d prob be ignored... i dun rem leaving any fond memories. i think i suck at bad situations.. esp those which all parties will be at fault.. i dun do well in minimizing the amount of wrong stuff i do.. something not right is initiated and i simply let the wrong things happen instead of taking the best possible action... in other words, succumb to temptation and in the end, make a ugly exit.
it happened in the past and it happened again. but this time at least i have been more justified. since i had declared to be in a bad mood, relentless taunts had been made. and then i decided to pull no more punches and to spare the rod no more. guess people are just like that.. not everyone appreciates anymore.. many take things for granted.
since when has being treated nicely been an entitlement? by what virtue of the recipient is the grace entitled? is it not instead a virtue of the giver? this has failed to be understood, let alone be appreciated. understanding manifests in action, not in the mere words "I do...."; the same case for appreciation. guess sometimes, somethings are simply phases of life where one has to go through, only after having been there, done that would one realise.
sometimes, things are quite simple. before playing, just make sure you are game for it. else, don't play. perhaps sometimes, some people need love most; even more so than others.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
back to zero.
it seems i have come a full circle, with much due and paid.
it's simply time for a new start i guess.
i wonder what the future holds. =)
沉溺在浩瀚的孤单人群中，我依然孤独。
it's simply time for a new start i guess.
i wonder what the future holds. =)
沉溺在浩瀚的孤单人群中，我依然孤独。
keen
something tells me someone in class is interested...
half hope i'm right, and half... hm. -_-
anyw.. think i disappointed a someone the other day when i spoke too loudly and flamboyantly while window shopping >.<
half hope i'm right, and half... hm. -_-
anyw.. think i disappointed a someone the other day when i spoke too loudly and flamboyantly while window shopping >.<
Saturday, February 14, 2009
xiaobai!
i have a war to wage... or not really. just gotta fight to keep my xiao bai alive..
after sinding my vaio to the care centre..then i realised what could be done, was actually supposed to be done by myself.. noneed the care centre ppl lah..
spent the whole of colours lecture trying to restore the c drive.
and by a stroke of fortune, it worked!
and now i'm struggling to update the windows and install the utilities..
meanwhile..
i have to deal with what i left behind in my boldness conferred by a bout of cabernet..
haha... alright, this is no laughing matter.
hope the ppl who read it take it with a pinch of salt.
but kinda glad ppl do bother to read..=)
but just hope they don't jump into wild guesses..
and friends won't be offended by what i posted... >.<
anyw.. think i am kinda insignificant.. or is there a remote possibility that i am significant, but just that ppl don't show it?
regardless.. it bugs me... sadly.. esp when i am such an AA person. =(
or maybe it's my anxiety.. like when ppl don't reply me on msn or sms.. i get worried.. and frantic and all frenzied... anxious for a reply(hopefully positive ones), and worried about having said or done something wrong earlier...
cos i always dunno what i have done bad till it's too late..
really afraid of it...
and the worst feeling to have is to be helpless when something goes wrong...
like regret for a thing done and irreversible..
like despair for the future predetermined..
such is the terror that strikes my very core...
after sinding my vaio to the care centre..then i realised what could be done, was actually supposed to be done by myself.. noneed the care centre ppl lah..
spent the whole of colours lecture trying to restore the c drive.
and by a stroke of fortune, it worked!
and now i'm struggling to update the windows and install the utilities..
meanwhile..
i have to deal with what i left behind in my boldness conferred by a bout of cabernet..
haha... alright, this is no laughing matter.
hope the ppl who read it take it with a pinch of salt.
but kinda glad ppl do bother to read..=)
but just hope they don't jump into wild guesses..
and friends won't be offended by what i posted... >.<
anyw.. think i am kinda insignificant.. or is there a remote possibility that i am significant, but just that ppl don't show it?
regardless.. it bugs me... sadly.. esp when i am such an AA person. =(
or maybe it's my anxiety.. like when ppl don't reply me on msn or sms.. i get worried.. and frantic and all frenzied... anxious for a reply(hopefully positive ones), and worried about having said or done something wrong earlier...
cos i always dunno what i have done bad till it's too late..
really afraid of it...
and the worst feeling to have is to be helpless when something goes wrong...
like regret for a thing done and irreversible..
like despair for the future predetermined..
such is the terror that strikes my very core...
Friday, February 13, 2009
sobbies
my com brashed... and i had to go home prematurely.. to collect my vaio recovery cd so the IT care side ppl can help me reformat my com.
and thanks to val who lent me her hard drive. else i won't have been able to do my backup.. =(
anyhows went to vivo on wed.. at like 8.30?
that was like before watching the sch hall people try to finish their hall relay.
and i realised... and remembered a certain someone who was the friend of one of the runners...
something i din really wanto rem..
candy empire is reall nasty.. a temptation i cannot resist.. bought chocs in the end..
and the next day, half was gone...
then today.. i went vivo again!!
well done.
though i love the place, 2 ays in a row is quite bad.
ate marche, and finally completed the treat! yay!
but too bad it din really made everyone happy.. oh wells..
then went to watch benjamin buttons, though iv had it... but thought i'd not trouble iv la...
for some reasons..
haha
then went home to collect my vaio recovery cd for my poor xiao bai... who crashed..
then i saw the cabernet..
simply could not resist it.. and as i speak i guzzling the remaing half of the bott.. =P
and seriously.. kinda missed how i have let myself go.. and the people i had and perhaps never meant to keep. but of course they were others i dun miss.. for some reasons..
haha guess life's like that.
like what was said in the curious case of benjamin buttons, you won't know what's comin' atch ya
that is so true..
guess i shall not expect anything anymore and just live my life..
i guess it's really true... that you won't know what you're missing in life, and the best things come most unexpected.
cheers!
and thanks to val who lent me her hard drive. else i won't have been able to do my backup.. =(
anyhows went to vivo on wed.. at like 8.30?
that was like before watching the sch hall people try to finish their hall relay.
and i realised... and remembered a certain someone who was the friend of one of the runners...
something i din really wanto rem..
candy empire is reall nasty.. a temptation i cannot resist.. bought chocs in the end..
and the next day, half was gone...
then today.. i went vivo again!!
well done.
though i love the place, 2 ays in a row is quite bad.
ate marche, and finally completed the treat! yay!
but too bad it din really made everyone happy.. oh wells..
then went to watch benjamin buttons, though iv had it... but thought i'd not trouble iv la...
for some reasons..
haha
then went home to collect my vaio recovery cd for my poor xiao bai... who crashed..
then i saw the cabernet..
simply could not resist it.. and as i speak i guzzling the remaing half of the bott.. =P
and seriously.. kinda missed how i have let myself go.. and the people i had and perhaps never meant to keep. but of course they were others i dun miss.. for some reasons..
haha guess life's like that.
like what was said in the curious case of benjamin buttons, you won't know what's comin' atch ya
that is so true..
guess i shall not expect anything anymore and just live my life..
i guess it's really true... that you won't know what you're missing in life, and the best things come most unexpected.
cheers!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
today i see. =P
like in army, you get to see many sorts of people in uni.
today i see, smokers and muggers.
it's kinda funny when i look at them.. but then again..
i ought to eat the humble pie everytime..
because i don't think i am significantly better than them.
maybe it's time to talk to people and make friends.
oh wells. anyw, hope today's bridge duplicates will be a good one! =)
today i see, smokers and muggers.
it's kinda funny when i look at them.. but then again..
i ought to eat the humble pie everytime..
because i don't think i am significantly better than them.
maybe it's time to talk to people and make friends.
oh wells. anyw, hope today's bridge duplicates will be a good one! =)
Monday, February 9, 2009
From a distance
from a distance, i see yu.
from a distance, i hope yu felt me.
from a distance, i thought of all these what ifs.
from a distance, i am simply helpless.
and can i do to bridge this distance and hold yu close?
tell me please.
from a distance, i hope yu felt me.
from a distance, i thought of all these what ifs.
from a distance, i am simply helpless.
and can i do to bridge this distance and hold yu close?
tell me please.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
best left untitled.
when you are too used to having things going your way;
a lil bump, a small mishap will go a long way is spoiling the journey.
when yu hold on so tightly and simply refuse to let go;
yu're just hurting yourself over and over again, together with the me that cares.
please, let go, and let us be happy together in our lives.
a lil bump, a small mishap will go a long way is spoiling the journey.
when yu hold on so tightly and simply refuse to let go;
yu're just hurting yourself over and over again, together with the me that cares.
please, let go, and let us be happy together in our lives.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
vivo!
i love vivo city.
it has all my fav shops and stores!
starbucks, candy empire, superdog, zara, esprit, ben&jerry's
so many lah!
and it's the gateway to sentosa, the nearest mal to st james(tho i have been there once, on a non-sunday=P)
anyw, woke up at 10 today.. amazingly without sleep inertia!
but was lazy.. and made up my mind not to go for colours..
den came along squirrel.
she convinced me lah!
in the end i went to the lecture and played on bbo.. =P
but it was good. played with a good player.. but in the end, my bad lead let a 3nt through and he got so fed up and left. sobbies.
guess the better part of the day was the vivo lunch.
went with dai lo and jh to meet shuyi at pgp for their foc com stuff..
then we all went to vivo!
on the way, we all bickered on taking cab... and tried to tempt each other.. until we reached the bus stop and simply hopped on the bus. lolz.. and all the cab nonsense for nothing but good fun la! haha...
bumped into cheryl and sarah there.. tgt with weiyu, lynette(wong) and one other klasmate whom i dunoo her name. and we saw them like twice? up the escalator and at long johns.. so qiao lo.. hoho...
den went to ben&jerrys
we had "dessert" there.
super sinful, super delightful. =D
jh met her friend with his bunch of airforce guys. and he was funny la... like he had to call her on her handphone to tell her he sees her? diaoz lolz...
and when they were talking, the guy was like so sheepish lah.. haha almost as if they were not shou2... or then again maybe they are.
or maybe... he... hm... shall not say further.
did notice his friend like looking at us when we came in.
wondering why so too.. like maybe he recognised one of us? or maybe he's heard of one of us..
or maybe maybe.... hm.
anyw, jh later told us that her friend's aj and has gd taste.. lolz..
haha.. i knew it lah! and actually rather the whole grp seemed to be so.
ha.. and shuyi seems bewildered at how i can tell and asks "how do you tell?"
i almost shot back at her "if you have been through enough, you would know"
but that would be a inadequate, rude and bad ans.
then i din know how to ans her... and we just went on to other topics.. oh wells...
oh wells.. i guess zach was right haha... which brings me back to what i mentioned about airforce ppl. *shrugs*
it has all my fav shops and stores!
starbucks, candy empire, superdog, zara, esprit, ben&jerry's
so many lah!
and it's the gateway to sentosa, the nearest mal to st james(tho i have been there once, on a non-sunday=P)
anyw, woke up at 10 today.. amazingly without sleep inertia!
but was lazy.. and made up my mind not to go for colours..
den came along squirrel.
she convinced me lah!
in the end i went to the lecture and played on bbo.. =P
but it was good. played with a good player.. but in the end, my bad lead let a 3nt through and he got so fed up and left. sobbies.
guess the better part of the day was the vivo lunch.
went with dai lo and jh to meet shuyi at pgp for their foc com stuff..
then we all went to vivo!
on the way, we all bickered on taking cab... and tried to tempt each other.. until we reached the bus stop and simply hopped on the bus. lolz.. and all the cab nonsense for nothing but good fun la! haha...
bumped into cheryl and sarah there.. tgt with weiyu, lynette(wong) and one other klasmate whom i dunoo her name. and we saw them like twice? up the escalator and at long johns.. so qiao lo.. hoho...
den went to ben&jerrys
we had "dessert" there.
super sinful, super delightful. =D
jh met her friend with his bunch of airforce guys. and he was funny la... like he had to call her on her handphone to tell her he sees her? diaoz lolz...
and when they were talking, the guy was like so sheepish lah.. haha almost as if they were not shou2... or then again maybe they are.
or maybe... he... hm... shall not say further.
did notice his friend like looking at us when we came in.
wondering why so too.. like maybe he recognised one of us? or maybe he's heard of one of us..
or maybe maybe.... hm.
anyw, jh later told us that her friend's aj and has gd taste.. lolz..
haha.. i knew it lah! and actually rather the whole grp seemed to be so.
ha.. and shuyi seems bewildered at how i can tell and asks "how do you tell?"
i almost shot back at her "if you have been through enough, you would know"
but that would be a inadequate, rude and bad ans.
then i din know how to ans her... and we just went on to other topics.. oh wells...
oh wells.. i guess zach was right haha... which brings me back to what i mentioned about airforce ppl. *shrugs*
Friday, February 6, 2009
lonesome.
simply lonesome.
the dark lonely nights.
who comes to chase the shadows away.
anyw... i miss going for mambo jambo!
must save uup to go again.
must!
the dark lonely nights.
who comes to chase the shadows away.
anyw... i miss going for mambo jambo!
must save uup to go again.
must!
Monday, February 2, 2009
wonder
bad shape.
i'm simply dehydrated and tired.
the result of drinking too much coffee and not getting enough sleep.
apparently, it snowballs.
so now the task at hand is to correct all this nonsense before it gets out of hand and i end up fubar after doing some stupid irreversible things.
and it's back to the battle between discipline and wilfulness.
and talking abt corrective action.
meeting shan mei twice today had made me have 2nd thoughts.
tempted me to try to patch things up.. to try to start every single thing anew.
it is indeed an alluring thought.
but i must resist!
all the past experiences with corrective actions were bad.
at the end of it all, no one was happy and everything simply got worse.
and even if i were to succeed by sheer fortune, how after that?
i'm simply not ready. and everything shall all come back again one full circle, with extra devastation.
this is something i simply won't be able to take. i cannot afford to fall again.. just not now.
oh wells.. guess the power nap did help things a lil bit... made me want to do anything silly less than before. sleep is really what i need for now.
anyhow, saw jh's blog. dunno if she referred to me, though i think it's likely.
made me rem what uncle jack told me.
sometimes you should just speak your mind.
if people gets offended, then too bad. cos zhong1 yan2 ni4 er2.
i guess what he meant was it's totally fine to speak your mind sensibly.
and people gets put off because of what you say, than it's simply too bad for them simply cos they cannot accept it.
of course i'm sure he was assuming that no one would be going to say stupid things that aren't going to be constructive in any way.
and he said i was too diplomatic.. haha.. but it does really take a conscious effort for me to be so.
and a very good reason. cos i tend to offend people easily.
and esp so recently.
i've been extremely unpleasantly lately i realised.
esp while fighting against the lack of sleep and the invasion of sickness.
been whining about the negative stuff more than often.
and made me forget the better stuff..
like what nice movies i've watched, or nice gestures from people.
guess i really have alot to learn from dai lo.
his maturity is unmatched.
and i'm really grateful for him. not just for today, when he helped me out for the dispensing prac tgt with jia hui.
and the countless things he taught me; both directly and indirectly.
while i was lost in the darkness of my fatigue and erratism, the helping hands gave me a beacon and reminded me of friends i have.
no doubt i'm individualistic in nature, i definitely cannot survive alone on my own.
perhaps i can be independent. but not very well. i'd definitely work better with friends.
and all that made me miss the serious talks i've had with people.
and most recently with dailo and uncle jack. haha... it was kinda funny to see jia hui not used to us speaking seriously at wala wala.(sorry for the bad breath and smell of alcohol >.<)
but one thing i couldn't really stand abt dai lo is... his diplomacy. which is also his greatest strength. sometimes i just wished he'd be more frank sometimes. esp when in criticism. this is what holds me back from asking for feedback on myself. oh wells guess i'd have to try harder to see and be reflective.
it's really time to awaken the sense and not abandon myself to the oblivion of cui-ness =)
time to show some maturity.
it's funny sometimes, as how dai lo had noted. sometimes people do to others things, which they themselves cannot accept others doing the same thing back unto them. such as teasing.. and sometimes they carry it too far without knowing. some cannot stand it being done unto them, while they enjoying doing to others. while some simply take it in their stride. i guess that's the diff.. a measure of maturity to some extent. something i fail to show. esp when i'm in autopilot mode.. which is starting to happen more frequently these few days.. =(
well on the brightside, at least i can see where i can improve on and roughly knowhow to go about it. so it isn't so bad after all. must find back the positivity i had the past few days before i turned grouchy and coffee-muggee.
and radiant i shall be!!!!! =)
i'm simply dehydrated and tired.
the result of drinking too much coffee and not getting enough sleep.
apparently, it snowballs.
so now the task at hand is to correct all this nonsense before it gets out of hand and i end up fubar after doing some stupid irreversible things.
and it's back to the battle between discipline and wilfulness.
and talking abt corrective action.
meeting shan mei twice today had made me have 2nd thoughts.
tempted me to try to patch things up.. to try to start every single thing anew.
it is indeed an alluring thought.
but i must resist!
all the past experiences with corrective actions were bad.
at the end of it all, no one was happy and everything simply got worse.
and even if i were to succeed by sheer fortune, how after that?
i'm simply not ready. and everything shall all come back again one full circle, with extra devastation.
this is something i simply won't be able to take. i cannot afford to fall again.. just not now.
oh wells.. guess the power nap did help things a lil bit... made me want to do anything silly less than before. sleep is really what i need for now.
anyhow, saw jh's blog. dunno if she referred to me, though i think it's likely.
made me rem what uncle jack told me.
sometimes you should just speak your mind.
if people gets offended, then too bad. cos zhong1 yan2 ni4 er2.
i guess what he meant was it's totally fine to speak your mind sensibly.
and people gets put off because of what you say, than it's simply too bad for them simply cos they cannot accept it.
of course i'm sure he was assuming that no one would be going to say stupid things that aren't going to be constructive in any way.
and he said i was too diplomatic.. haha.. but it does really take a conscious effort for me to be so.
and a very good reason. cos i tend to offend people easily.
and esp so recently.
i've been extremely unpleasantly lately i realised.
esp while fighting against the lack of sleep and the invasion of sickness.
been whining about the negative stuff more than often.
and made me forget the better stuff..
like what nice movies i've watched, or nice gestures from people.
guess i really have alot to learn from dai lo.
his maturity is unmatched.
and i'm really grateful for him. not just for today, when he helped me out for the dispensing prac tgt with jia hui.
and the countless things he taught me; both directly and indirectly.
while i was lost in the darkness of my fatigue and erratism, the helping hands gave me a beacon and reminded me of friends i have.
no doubt i'm individualistic in nature, i definitely cannot survive alone on my own.
perhaps i can be independent. but not very well. i'd definitely work better with friends.
and all that made me miss the serious talks i've had with people.
and most recently with dailo and uncle jack. haha... it was kinda funny to see jia hui not used to us speaking seriously at wala wala.(sorry for the bad breath and smell of alcohol >.<)
but one thing i couldn't really stand abt dai lo is... his diplomacy. which is also his greatest strength. sometimes i just wished he'd be more frank sometimes. esp when in criticism. this is what holds me back from asking for feedback on myself. oh wells guess i'd have to try harder to see and be reflective.
it's really time to awaken the sense and not abandon myself to the oblivion of cui-ness =)
time to show some maturity.
it's funny sometimes, as how dai lo had noted. sometimes people do to others things, which they themselves cannot accept others doing the same thing back unto them. such as teasing.. and sometimes they carry it too far without knowing. some cannot stand it being done unto them, while they enjoying doing to others. while some simply take it in their stride. i guess that's the diff.. a measure of maturity to some extent. something i fail to show. esp when i'm in autopilot mode.. which is starting to happen more frequently these few days.. =(
well on the brightside, at least i can see where i can improve on and roughly knowhow to go about it. so it isn't so bad after all. must find back the positivity i had the past few days before i turned grouchy and coffee-muggee.
and radiant i shall be!!!!! =)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
i love saturday. i hate sunday.
played mj for the whole of this weekend and i conclude..
i rather lost on proper gameplay than to be dragged along with the inadequacy of other ppl >.<
many unjustified losses makes things sick.
guess that's the result of desperation.
and was super seh for for sunday's mj session..
reason?
no mood at all.. when yu're not exceptionally lucky nor awake...
the end result is sian.
slept from 7am to 9am. well done.
but i dun regret it.
cos i gotta watch my nice nice movies! =)
completed what i left behind...
and watched another one.
both were nice in their own ways.
i'm so glad i din cry for either one, it'd been so embarrassing lor >.< (tho i did when i read up the synopsis... sobbies)
the 1st was sad. a story ended in tragedy.
tho i couldn't catch a large part of the story cos they were either mumbling or having an accent too heavy, the nuance was clear.
the wu nai of the characters totally sunk into me..
seeing how they attempt to conform and lead double lives, helpless against fate..
reminds me of how puny we are.. and how untrue we are...
and the choices we all have to make:
to live our own live, or live a life that others want for you.
it's always a tough choice.
but it's not mine to make for now...
anyway, the 2nd movie was a mood lifter. =)
it was amazing.
the way it portrays the diff types of love..between the main lead characters, their family, their friends.
how the family copes with their loss and support each other in their silent ways.
how the mother cares without complaining.
and how one can give herself up so the other one can find his love.
it was warm. and it was touching.
perhaps one of the best i've watched this year.
anyhow, i'm seriously hoping i'd never say "i wish i knew how to quit you"
and i hope with all my life i would never have to come to saying that.
i swear.
i rather lost on proper gameplay than to be dragged along with the inadequacy of other ppl >.<
many unjustified losses makes things sick.
guess that's the result of desperation.
and was super seh for for sunday's mj session..
reason?
no mood at all.. when yu're not exceptionally lucky nor awake...
the end result is sian.
slept from 7am to 9am. well done.
but i dun regret it.
cos i gotta watch my nice nice movies! =)
completed what i left behind...
and watched another one.
both were nice in their own ways.
i'm so glad i din cry for either one, it'd been so embarrassing lor >.< (tho i did when i read up the synopsis... sobbies)
the 1st was sad. a story ended in tragedy.
tho i couldn't catch a large part of the story cos they were either mumbling or having an accent too heavy, the nuance was clear.
the wu nai of the characters totally sunk into me..
seeing how they attempt to conform and lead double lives, helpless against fate..
reminds me of how puny we are.. and how untrue we are...
and the choices we all have to make:
to live our own live, or live a life that others want for you.
it's always a tough choice.
but it's not mine to make for now...
anyway, the 2nd movie was a mood lifter. =)
it was amazing.
the way it portrays the diff types of love..between the main lead characters, their family, their friends.
how the family copes with their loss and support each other in their silent ways.
how the mother cares without complaining.
and how one can give herself up so the other one can find his love.
it was warm. and it was touching.
perhaps one of the best i've watched this year.
anyhow, i'm seriously hoping i'd never say "i wish i knew how to quit you"
and i hope with all my life i would never have to come to saying that.
i swear.
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