ermm...

some things are simply brooding at the back of my mind.
some of which i can't really put a finger to,
most of which i don't know how to write in words,
all of which i won't know how to deal with.

i guess it's now the see-how-it-all-goes approach i'm taking now.
there is much at stake. though it's my life i live, i am responsible not to myself only.

burning burning...

looks like i have alot to burn these few weeks.
the first to burn is def the midnight oil..
having slapped by reality with the reminder that my exam starts from 25 and ends on 29,
there isn't much time to study the exams...
so i'm gonna burn myself to make it thru the study break..
haha... oh well.. we've gotta do what we've gotta do.

but right now i have a project report to write..
sigh..
and unfortunately it seems like i'm doing it alone..
firstly my group members seem to have no idea what the project is about.
hence, they dunno what to put in!
now i'm stuck between two evils, of which i have to choose the lesser, albeit the one that would take a great toll on me.. that is a price i have to pay since i din bother to select groupmates, thinking since they are mostly cui, it makes not much of a diff..
but in fact.. it does. cos there is cui-er, cui-erer and so on.
(actually for all i know, my other group members from elsewhere thinks that about me too. *shrugs*)

plus, being in the bad books of the lecturer isn't helping.
i've given the little brown man(=short indian, but hey i'm not being racist, just stating a matter of fact) the benefit of doubt. time and time again, i was proven right:
he is defnitely bias against me.
i thot that having much academic training(him being a phd for god's sake)
and him being so much old.
he prob ought to be more mature.
but i was proven wrong.. sigh..
i mean hey,
everyone has their own prejudices and bias.
it's about how you manage it.
you can dislike someone for certain reasons, though some are good ones, and some purely irrational and even unacceptable.
but i simply have no idea what i did to warrant such a prejudice.
and i cannot accept how he manages it.
snide remarks had been staple.
stark differences in treatment is often.
and the worst of the lot was the unrelenting verbal attacks!
like i mean, fine, i may not the best of the lot.
or even your fav of the lot, but cool it off man.
a few shots along the way is acceptable, in guise of a "friendly" joke.
a direct shot coming from a pregnant pause is totally weird.
it simply seemed like it was delibrate and planned, and that it had to be excuted.
malice?

anyhow, it is not important. just that writing the report now makes me think of things to make my blood boil and burn with anger.
oh wells, the world is no where near perfect, or even good for that matter.
but the only saving grace is that the bad stuff is there so that we can all know what the good stuff are.
for that, i am grateful.

back to burning for the exams and report.
and of course, burn those scum along the way too.
and i know very well who those are...

Suay

Sigh,
a series of unfortunate events happened..
for one.. all the nice tuition offers offered to me somehow managed to slip away, after i agreed to take them on..
then today i scalded myself with the hot sesame paste when the small sampling cup somehow spilled and dripped across my chest, and while i was trying to save it, spilled all over my hand, giving me one good burn in a long time.
and finally, a parking summon of a hundred bucks,
issued with minutes from the moment i left the car.. at this loading bay in front of my block.
guess i must have been extremely lucky and fortunate that on all other occasions i wasn't fined.
What a way to start a GOOD Friday. Indeed *smiles(?)*
Thank God ya'll!

nw i know at least, maybe the little brown man isn't the only who hates me.