Ignored

This sucks. Especially when a friend does this to you.

Ripped!

I wanna play basketball too!

communication

I think I prob need to take a few more communication module. Or perhaps it's a problem with my skills, but that of the channel. I mean how well can a caged dove communicate when caged in by the "love" of the possessor.

Thinking out loud

I just wonder. What did I do to deserve such a treatment? Would counter-attacking help? Am I really that distasteful?! I kept my sting and kept my distance but obviously it does not help. I never hoped for any others-- never so from myself nor from others. Simply because it is totally against my principles. And never mind that it differs greatly from yours.

Chance or consequence?

Lee

Lee is my favourite surname =D

huh?

The worst way to die is with a "huh?" expression. Cos you never know what had hit you. Just like avada kedavra, minus the incantation and minus the green flash.

Resolution!

1. Keep a proper circle!
2. Learn parkour by 26!
3. Take dance class!

The Rose

I prob posted this before, but for the sake of it

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed


It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live


When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong


Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

Today

Today is a memorable day, with tears wept for goodnees. First, there was a remarkable number of wishes I received, which far far exceeded what I ever imagined. Second, there was the liberation of souls. While the latter I am not so sure, I hope for the best. I daren't dream of everything becoming good again, but giving freedom is the greatest love that can be given. (Disagree? Think Jesus)

ps. weebs is only sensual, never spiritual.

29 Oct

I know what I want for my birthday. An obliterator, one that can remove seriously fubar ppl.

pity

For once, I find it justified to feel sorry for myself.
First, I let how I feel get affected by inconsequent others. Second, and more importantly, is the fact that I am feeling sorry for myself.

Double Whammy

This happens when you don't look photogenic, and your "friends" post your "best" pictures online. A whooping dash of salt on your never healing wound. FML

Facebook woes

I never liked going on facebook. It always makes me feel inadequate and restrained, ane eventually emo.

Coming soon!

I suddenly have the urge to celebrate Halloween, which I had never done before. But... in view of the line up, I guess I would have to put that on hold. With the projects and exams looming near, I doubt I would even have the luxury of a enjoyable evening.

Solution? Hold it till the time is ripe.
Everything in its time.

"the river runs, and the river hides;
out to the ocean and under the sky"

There is one thing I know I'd be able to do: get a decent haircut.

Weight

I slouch, with the heavy burden on my back.
Yet the funny thing is: the weight had not come from all my commitments. That weight would have been lighter, yet somehow I ended up with some redundant baggage that is much much heavier. Why can't I let them go, and pick up the things I ought to bear instead?

Outlier

Having seen how skewed the curve was, i guess i should have guessed less and worked harder.

Social

I am clear now why I don't really like to log on to social networking platforms.
1. It traps me there.
2. It emo-es me when I am reminded of how pathetic I am with no social life.(Despite my low need for social interaction, I am still human. Vitamin S2 deficiency will eventually set in. Vitamin S1 is frequently replenished by Starbucks getaways.)
3. It sucks to see all others happy, while I myself so lonely. Period.

Starbucks

Starbucks, my official currency; it is used to measure the magnitude of many many things, the most material being money. It is also an indicator or my status, how poor I am, how stressed I am, how emo I am, how bored I am-- all can be told from the frequency and nature of my starbucks visits. Amazing isn't it?

Anyhow, I am craving for a peppermint hot chocolate. I look forward to it more than my own birthday!
Wish i could be bothered to drive to town now.

Void

Voids are good when you have another suit trumps.
No trumps? Prepare to go down down down down then. Or you could naively hope your partner has a stopper to plug it in for you.

Depsite how I try to amass riches and commitment to get stoppers, it never works out. I supposed I am not worked enough. Ought to do more work. Make social life zero. No. Negative. Then my expectation of social life can be zero. Tada! No more worries, no more emo days & nights! Cos machines dun have a heart, or a friend, or a void. Only one Chip. Nothing more. Except the void of a void.

Resolutions?

Whatever happened to my resolutions?

Zipped.

I guess sometimes it's better to say nothing than to say something wrong. The latter happens to be half the time.

Honesty

I had always valued honesty and integrity. But, is honesty the best policy? Especially in cases where the opposite party can't handle the truth? Whatever happened to white lies and defensive shieldings? Should they be obsolete?
I ponder.

Announcement

I officially declare a state of emo.

pathfinder

"Does the walker choose the path,or the path the walker"
-the abhorsen series.

back!

Looking back at the last post, I realised how long it had been since I posted. If I hadn't known better, I would have almost certainly thought weaboon had been abducted by aliens! I have hidden long enough. Perhaps it is now time for reach out back into the light.

It is time to start living, and ceasing mere surviving.

I assure you, the day I get a stud shall be the day I truly roam free.

Insomniac's Fruit

the insomniac found this tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=bW5czKqT05A&feature=related

see if you can catch the spoofs.

Insomniac's Fruit

the insomniac found this tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=bW5czKqT05A&feature=related

see if you can catch the spoofs.

Treasures

Life is a treasure trove.
You just have to know where to look.

Tuition

i'm really fed up with the jc kids.. they are simply inconsistent. sigh. it's hard to get compliance from the older kids. sigh sigh sigh..

Mad World

despite how emo it is, it is yet so true.
going nowhere, but round in circles.

and i have come to realise one sad fact.
i never had friends.
only classmates in school
kakis in mahjong
partners in bridge
colleagues in work
strangers in life.

small small small world

it's so freaky sometimes to find that the world is so so so small sometimes...
tsk tsk tsk...
frankly if i get the posting i really wanted.. then i guess it's just fate la arh =P

loss

i really dunno how to go from here. step forward into the unknown or rush back to salvage.

the right one

if only you texted me "thinking of you" after listening to the same song.

evil

i think i am very evil to my friends to post this now.
well.. enjoy but dun indulge!


http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/young-ukulele-kid/93j7tths

study hard!
hope this brings smiles to your face ;)

knowing my place

i know my place. and i don't need any one of you to tell me where i belong.
watch your own position before doing anything else.
period.

himbo

i bought the roll-on dark eye rings remover thing
and i tested it out, the way they do on 女人我最大
and to my amazement..!!!!
it works!
ok lah.. not miraculously make it all disappear but it did shrink the eyebag!
but.. it's still as dark as ever =_=

ignorance

it is beyond words when you realise the ignorance

problem

it's me.

connection

i hate it when connections fails.
both networks alike.

sigh

another one bites the dust!
*cough cough*

eee...

i think i got groped by an uncle when i was doing pull-ups...=_=
he voluntarily assisted me.. even after i said that i could manage on my own.
and i was not at all comfortable with the point of contact.
arrgh...

it's a small world after all

it is scary to know how small it can be..

spirit

it's sad to say, that i dun come to sch becos i lack the spirit.
to face the ppl i'd see, and the truth behind those faces.

facade

everybody has a facade.
it's only a matter of how extensive and deep it is.
frankly, i am uncomfortable with it.
but it is part and parcel of life.
despite how scary it is that ppl can smile in your face
but glare in their hearts.

sick

think i'm gonna fall sick soon..
hope i can tide till the end of the exams

everything will be ok

i just need somebody to tell me that everything will be ok.

dun care

dun care how it turns out...
i am indifferent.
i must be indifferent.
and hope for the best for others.
i dun matter.
no i do NOT matter.
Really i don't.
just as long the important one is happy.
really.

waver

i must not waver at this time.. or else all will be lost...
for the sake of the loved one, i must perservere..
by hook or by crook i must hold out till the end.
i must.

finally

i always knew, eventually, i will be alone.
that is my destiny, and nothing will change that.
not even "Xxd"

king fish

worth the full 13.50

prada

i miss my prada shirt..

temporary

all this will pass..
but a fleeting moment in time.
bask in it while it lasts.

which is worse

i cannot tell which is worse.
not wanting anything
or not getting what i want

both ways

out of sight out of mind.

history repeating

i kinda saw that coming.. though i did not wish for that...
but i know it will happen. sigh..
i'll just have to accept it i guess.

other side of the mean

i realised i have been on the other side of the mean lately.
often more than 1sd
things that are not usually very probable happen as if they were certain.
at the rate things are going, i dun even think i can raise a reasonable doubt for defence, if you get what i mean.

when i die

i entertained the possiblity of dying alone.
but i can see how it is materializing and becoming certainty.

lone

while i enjoy the freedom of being alone
work pressing on the back of my mind is not going easy on my mood... =(

reality

i've gotta live up to reality. and realise i'm the only one to help myself.
not like it's the fault of others, but rather i'm just too easily influenced.

just rem Mika's "Blame it on the Girls", we can't blame anyone else.
besides, blaming gets nothing good done. at the end of the day, all the finger-pointing just transfers the fire from one's ass to another.

need to buck up.
just as theresa says in fable2, Will is the lifeforce of heroes.

butterflies

i dun like the feeling of butterflies in the stomach..
cos i'm far too worried about disappointment.

worried about payback

frankly, i am worried about retribution. very worried.

hate it

i hate disappointments.
so i hate it sometimes when i see things too clearly; when i foresee and have to accept the disappointing outcomes.
i hate it even more when i'm blinded and shit happens after that.

i guess the former is the lesser of two evils

dead

i am so screwed.. i am not match for others when it comes to memory work.
dun test concepts then that's it. i'm dead.
i might as well make a robot clone of myself and key in all the data so that it can regurgitate all the data in the exam.
noneed for humans lah.

sleep

i think there is something wrong with me..
i'm beginning to think sleeping is a waste of time.. =_=

back in time

i'm living in 27th Jan 2010

wtf

i must be crazy

hardy's

apparently hardy's cabernet sauvignon is not meant for the hardy.

destiny

please please please please please!

the fear

I wanna be rich, i want losta money
but i can't say i dun care about clever and i dun care about funny..

afraid

i am afraid to make that first step..
i am worried i'd end up blowing it again.. =(

stone

sometimes, i'm just irritated but inhibited.
cos i'm not fit to cast the first stone.

practice pays off

practice does wonders.
lets you work faster,
drink more,
remain functional.
glad i had practice back then.
and it was tough enough! yayz!

ok

i'm fine! =)

Inspirasi

This is my inspirational wallpaper.

A cat looking up to the heavens, for directions through the winding paths of life.

circle

the circle is closing in..

blur

i guess acting blur and feigning ignorance should have their benefits

blockade

i think when you wall up, nobody can help.
you'll just collect water on rainy days,
till one day you drown in it...

tight vs loose

it is ironic how things are in relationships.
cos the more you treasure something, the tighter the grip
sometimes so much so that it suffocates and slowly dying..
and we just end up losing it all together.
let go too much, and it may go away..

what to do when holding tight and letting loose loses...
i'd choose letting loose.
cos at least you wun suffocate it and lose it permanently when it dies
besides, when let loose, they will eventually return to their rightful place.

run!

running is good for me!
just ran today, in the dead of the night
clears the mind and put the thoughts in running order
(pun intended)

but there is just one prob..
it's hard to run like the wind,
when you weigh like a whale...

run-a-blog

think i ought to invent something that lets me blog as i run.. =D

baggage

i only realised today.. that only with no baggage
can you go further.

melody

i think i'm in love with melody gardot

sight

please grant me the sight to see, strength to act and courage to accept.

ample

please give me ample time and opportunities. please.

winding roads

sometimes when you think you blew it,
maybe you didn't
but does it work the other way round?
guess that depends if you are a optimist or a pessimist.

antagonist

i think i'm more of a reverse person.
where ppl gather, i avoid;
where ppl are curious, i am indifferent;
where ppl rejoice, i worry;
where ppl rest, i work;
where ppl err, i right;
vice versa

I must be an antagonist.
cos pretty much there is only thing that i am not inclined towards the reverse:
defensive signals

will

i'm giving up....
i dunno how long i can hold..

lecture

i remember that when my godma lectured me for my mistakes
she said this at one point
that
boy, you are a guy, don't you do this.

i'm trying my best, really.
but they just come rolling....

really

frankly, i hope i have made the right choice.
possession may not be the best protection.

grief

i grieve for i had lost a best friend.
one lost so long ago.

one that will never come back

you know what

i just did it. just like that, and then, as if nothing has happened.
i think i must be a bastard.

H+

i am a hydrogen of sulfuric acid meeting water.

because of you

i don't have anyone whom i can quietly sit with, to have no worries, no duties, no bondage anymore.
i used to have one.
but not anymore, for a very long time.
all the wrongs, because of you or because of me?

rationality

the thing i need most now is rationality.
because only that, can keep all the tears and pain away.
it's the only anesthetic i have.

unknown future

i was once told:
when you step into the darkness,
you'd find solid ground;
or you'd learn to fly.

i so hope this is true.
i really really need to survive the onslaught of vengeful acts that is to come.

gravity

once i thought this was a song of a story of another person.
i hoped that it will never come a day i'd be the cause of such a story.
but never did i realise, the story was about me back then.
now i see, i have to break free..
dday soon..
all it takes is a trigger

越人歌

今日何日兮

bad

天下乌鸦一般黑
阴里蛇蝎十倍毒

surprise

i'm surprise how inurgent i feel, even when the fires are catching up on me.
talk about slow dancing in a burning room

forbidden

what i want always seems to be forbidden
and yet i cannot forbid what others desire of me.

how is this fair?
i am really sick of this..
doing nothing but simply only satisfying the wants of others.

truth

the truth is:
we are all waiting for the other party to make the first move

losing

how do i stop myself from losing friends..
and losing everything else
if i cannot stop myself from losing myself?

mirror

i think this is the phase where i lose myself,
lost all will and sense
and do nothing but drifting along
and mirroring others.
regardless good or bad..
loved or hated...

who will break the mirror and bring the soul trapped in it back to life?

weird

sometimes i just dun get ppl.
i dun get why they are behaving the way they are.
maybe for some, it can be understood, considering the circumstances, the emotions, the opportunites.
but sometimes, i can never comprehend the attitude that ppl have.
i never understand the rationale behind some of the things they do either.
and most of these things are so stupid and immature.
but since most of these happenings are not from those who quite matter,
i guess there is no need for me to get so concerned with it.

pardon me for being so cynical

muster

when will i muster the strength to live.
when will i muster the courage to right.

zombie

yeah that's what i am.. doing nothing but craving flesh...

i want to live my life.

wretch

i feel wretched again.
and wrecked.

i need to get a hold of myself. really.

chipmunk

i squeal when i am called a chipmunk
i love it; i hate it

a prize to the first one who knows why i like being a chipmunk.
wahahaha....

Go away!

go away away away!
dun come to me if it isn't any good!

Need

What i need most now is not care, nor concern.
but direction.

explain

when asked for a rationale, you cannot give an answer that you yourself is convinced.. what does that mean?

relentless

relentless may get you what you want,
but it may not last forever.

Rose

in the Rose it sings:
It's the heart afraid of breaking,
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking,
that never takes the chance.
It's the one that won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give;
And the soul afraid of dying,
that never learns to Live.

The soldier, that is most afraid, digs the deepest trench and end up lying in it;
Finally, only to be buried in all the dirt and lies.

pictures

why i dun like pictures...
cos they look hideous.
cos they are revolting.
hate 'em.

changes

changes are irreversible.
so should i step into the unknown?

facebook

i hate facebook.
really.

label

is it really possible to have that label taken off me?
i dun think it feels nice to be owned by anybody...
esp when it's not supposed to be.

worst things

i'm think one of the worst things that can happen
besides regret,
is having to eat your own words.

happy

a word used in many context expressing different emotions.

1a) Are you really happy?

2a) Tell me, then what makes you happy?

3a) You happy now?

[after qn 3a you may insert words that describe the other party]

falling

I did myself in, once again.

if you fell off the cliff, i guess it would be all fine till you hit the bottom of it right?

Argh.

Avatar

"How does it feel to betray your own race?"

when boundry blurs and the winds tear you between the two sides of the fence, there is only 2 things left to do:
sit on it and wait to be ripped apart
or
fall to one side

which path will the walker choose;
or has the path chosen the walker?