One Word

scorn

da nian chu yi~!

the day of handshakes and ang pows.
relatives revisits the distant yet current relations.
and always, politics seems to surface, subtlely or otherwise.
ppl saying the wrong things.
ppl doing the wrong things.
and the dynamics of the ppl are all laid out, only waiting for the seeing eye.
this reminds me... of why i dun like to participate in politics.
i cannot stand up to the drain it has on my soul.
though it is a game we must all play eventually.

and yu.. glad to see many ppl caring for yu.
and really hope yu've seen that comment and decide to give it a try and look around.
in life, yu'll never know what yu'd miss.
but i know, i cannot miss the opportunities at any cost, for they are hard to come by.
so won't yu let go, and look around, and give chance a lil work to do.
maybe yu'd be happier. =)

better man 2!!!!! =)

just finished watching the mj cny movie on tv.
every year every time it gives the same theme.
pai pin hao, ren pin hao.
it's always the same advice.. which comes round every year.
i guess it's a reminder for me.
haha.. i'm really reminded of how true it all is.
and i realised too i've been improving this year.. tho it's a lil bhb to say that of myself but i really feel so.
i guess playing is like a little faucet of life that teaches you bite size lessons about Life. =)
and i guess that's how i came to love the 2 games that are the most impts games in my life, mahjong and bridge.
from playing, i learnt many new things.
like how to bide patiently(and reinforced with other unpleasant incidents)
like how raw strength isn't everything.
inconsistencies.. and thats how when ppl get lucky sometimes and when ppl get unlucky and fall sometimes...
and how to take things when things do and don't go the way we like it.
there are just so many lessons to be learnt and many are in fact taught to us already... long long ago perhaps. simple lessons they are.
everyone can understand, most can comprehend, but not all can appreciate.
but that's gonna be the most crucial part.
so.. this year... appreciate more.
it's a simple thing to do. a simple act to carry out. but yet it isn't easy everytime.
so we try. yeps. we try.

and in the end. it'll be happy. it definitely will be, when everything falls into place and it's time for harvest. a simple cycle in life. i guess that's what it's all about.. complexity born from simplicity.. and the brilliant are those who can look into it at the simplest level, and apply at the complex picture life paints.

haha.. guess i got a little too zen.
anyhows.. i still dunno how to make you happy. but i have a rainbow for yu, at the end of all the rain when the sunshine comes. perhaps then yu start being happy. start having joy.
but for now, i only have yellow. the other colours will come, when the time is right.
Yellow. =)

gg...

gg..literally.
found this game online that was no bad and i had been playing it since!!!
>.< must not get too attached.. else will be distracted from the right path.
anyw today i conclude women are trouble.
and i really ought to trust my instincts more lah! eeyerh. *irritated*
anyhow.. really must work out more le.. as more and more ppl point out frankly and openly that i am erm... expanding in a unsightly manner, i think i really must buck up, and not size up.

new year!

haha... this is the 3rd time i'm trying to post this.. lolz.
anyw, as i was saying...
the new year's coming, and the old's coming to an end.
the past year hadn't been too bad.
learn many things and begun to See more.
about the world. about people. about myself.
it had seemed so long.. almost like 2 years.. with the diff phases.
and i see where i err. so this year, i must resolve to make it better. to improve.
and i must have the discipline to achieve the resolutions.
workout more, err less.
rest more, stress less.
care more, lone less.
think more, cruise less.
see more, talk less.
happy more, hurt less.
in short, use more heart in everything =)

yeaps. and whew~ finally got home after the gruelling bus ride..
missed the last bus for 66.. and was cursing an swearing cos the bus uncle just left me. T_T

came home only to be greeted by my sis watching the tv.

and as i post, she's whipping up some supper. lolz.. damn i'm gonna get fatter-er-er-er... X(

oh wells.. so all the more must workout. train up for stand chart.

dun wanto cui at just 13km again! if cui also cui at 42.190km lor!

ok but now.. enjoy my choya choya~! *bliss*

frankly to recall.. today's a bittersweet day..

other than realising how broke-er-er-er i really am...

i got reminded of 2 things..

retribution and "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

sighed..

and the thought of it made me feel bad then..

well i guess no one likes disappointment..

some more, some less.

i simply cannot stand disappointment.. and i can't hide it or really manage it real well.. =(

anyhows..

i've felt the scorn today >.<

from women who couldn't get what they wanted...

sometimes i really dun quite get it..

or actually i do.. just that the best i can do is probably smile and hope they one day understand..

that if they aren't getting it, there is a reason to it..

the mediocre soul leading a mundane life asks to be insignificant as he already is.

for one, it is more complex.. and i see a shadow of myself in her..

and it's no wonder to me.

another i see a thirst, turned bad when it unfortunately got a nasty shock from reality.

i am an aa person. that is what i cannot deny. despite all my bullocks that i am insignificant(which i do know i am to a large extent).

i cannot hold secrets for long.. generally. lest it's of great great importance.

i'm not as mysterious as i'm portrayed to be, just cos i'm a scorpio or sth..

i'm in fact quite eager to share with the right people sometimes..

and these mean friends. with whom i share quite a fair bit.

but there are some things i have withheld.. for simple and good reasons..

and some things are really better left untold and unknown..

the logic of ham egg and cheese.

and for those who were curious, one reason is it was a one-sided affair.

one way. unidirectional. period. no reciprocation, no dealings, i tink i;m not even considered a first degree friend to that person. i'm not in the person's circle simply.

so spare me the potential humiliation and find other happier things instead. =)

oh wells. not so happy things aside. it's better to talk about the good stuff! heee..

feel accomplished today! tho a lil more broke after buying the things.. but must think as good investment so wun so xin tong... haha

bought a broom, light bulbs and air fresheners

done up the place abit... and it feels... good. heee!

guess i should do it often.. had hoped to personalise the place and make it cosier but.. too bad. i lack the resources and justification to do it so.. lidat lah.

but feels good when there aren't no blinky lights.. no dusty floor...

and the fridge got choc wor! hee hee.. but no container so i never cut the block up to bite size =P

after packing the place and doing the laundry, i chiong back home. almost din make it cos i missed the last bus..

but in the end.. woo hoo!

got home and got choya choya~!

hee..

oh wells. i guess the small little things do matter too. esp if they are happy.

and the non-happy things.. take the useful part only.

this is a skill, a management that can only be learnt thru the years. =)

guess that's abt all for this year..

and as for yu who wants sunshine..

i ain't got no eternal sunshine, but i always have the rainbows.

for the rainy days and the sunny times. =)

last..

damn... i got last for the bridge trials...
gg... sian sian sian.. why lidat!!!!!!
arrrrrghhh.....
*angry*

starting to feel alive

damn lah! stupid blog website..
i type until so long and i post..
then they tell me cannot post..
wth!
i had a nice day lor.. and now in the middle of the night, i'm screwing my bridge partner for screwing up damn bad...
anyw... went new year clothes shopping.. and guess what..
i got the jacket!!!!!!
yeah hey~! woot~!
den the whole day i've been travelling around with the burberry bag.. and ppl staring at me like i'm alien or wad lah! >.<
but.. secretly i quite an shuang one lah.. haha =P

anyw, missed physio in the morn.. cos i overslept..
and in the end i had to cab to holland..
and the taxi uncle was so blur lah!
i was so pissed at him then cos he took me by a long and wrong way and i had to step in to correct him.. =_=
and the best part, he had the cheek to keep the change when i asked him to...
like he ought to have liked offered me a discount for detouring? for god's sake...
but nvm..must learn to be graceful.

visited godma and godsis(ka ing.. ooh so cute~!!!!) and went shopping for new year clothes.
could see like the new filled happiness of a new mother in xiaogu, tho she complains sometimes, but can tell she's enjoying it.. haha...
drove to paragon and back after getting the stuff.

in the evening, i went to play bridge!!!!
i was almost late lah.. after taking wrong bus and dropping wrong stop... twice!!!
almost late lah.. but heng arh.. reach in time.. and ate yummy sandwiches for dinner.. yum yum!
played bridge.. i've always loved bridge section. the hospitality and nice ppl..
tho there are players who are more.. erm.. passionately(we were bitching about one today =P)
it was fun to play with them.
tho there was one time i almost wanted to strangle my partner.. for thinking for so long and in the end... lost out...
it was a hand where we underbid..2nt for a 3nt+1 cold... and with 10 top trick, and opps giving him the 11th by leading a diamond, he only make 9 tricks.
it was totally unacceptable.. any bridge amateur could have made 11 tricks lah! >.<
anyhow screwed him for it..
and left to take the last bus back..
ate a lil supper, reply on forum and waited for the results.
it ain;t too bad.. we got 8th... still much can be done
and so i plan to help us out.
to teach him to count tricks, plan, and eliminate etc...

haha.. i suddenly felt today was fruitful...like i din waste it and did something quite useful =)
hope everyday's like today or even better!
then i'd be happy! =)
hee...

and...
i'd still want to take yu away~ =)

Yes I Do!

for the past 2 days i've been seeing on your msn nick... take me away, will you
have been super tempted to answer. have been super tempted to show myself..
but i guess i dun have the courage to.
i'm just an insignificant shadow in the corner... maybe not gd enuff for yu i guess...
=(

back!

yay!
the feel for shopping is back! woo hoo~!
went paragon and wisma today.. all the nonsense attas places >.<
found a red shirt in ax that was nice. and looked good on me too!
and the next item that caught my eye was a pair of berms from ck jeans.. they were like so nice lah.. would go wel with loafers and a nice casual top.. but too bad it's a bottom.. not suitable to be bought for the new year.. maybe i'll catch it at a sale when i can afford it.
anyw, tops are the key items i need now.. bottoms can wait =P
den i felt itchy and went to burbs to look see look see..
and guess what i saw. a jacket.. in the classic burb beige... and super nice cutting
fitted in m size.. not sure if l size could have been better, but i totally love it!!!!!!!
even dailo and clone says it nice lor!
but.... there is one big prob..
the price tag =(
i know if i ask xiao gu to buy, she'd prob buy it for me..
but i'm worried like it'll impose on her.. =(
it's really worth the amt, but then 1k is no small sum..
sigh...
guess i'll have to show her and see how it goes..
hope i'd be able to get it on wed cos i love it! >.<
oh wells.
din really see anything else i really liked.. and all the other shirts are all so boring.. i rather get another simple top..(and it'd go with the burbs jacket!!!!!!! =P)

anyw, met val later.. was supp to eat soup spoon.. but the plans were put on hold cos i wanted to go cut hair..
guess i really cannot stand disappointments and appraently i dun hide it very well..
in the end, we left for far east to cut at clippers, while val had to setle for carl's junior...
sorry val, to make yu come all the way and miss soup spoon and have to eat carl's junior
sorry clone to make yu wait for me cut hair..
and dailo, paiseh to pull yu along and wait with me for the hair cut, den end up y have to go home late.
hope yu like your new hair =) (i thought it looked totally cool lah!)

enough of apologies, i've had my hair cut.
cropped the sides. and sorry alvin(boss of the salon).. i'm still not used to the hair.
but i do like it and think it's nice. =)
i've just got to try my bit to style it so it'd look super nice..! hehz..
anyhows, the boss was super nice. he stayed back for us though he usually closes for the day at 8.30. thanks boss!(tho you prob wun see this)

went back on bus 77 and dropped at the coffeeshops to get supper(clone says not to skip dinner, so weebs is good boy, weebs listen).
gon lou hor fun with green chilli!
been in a crave for green chilli lately lah! >.<
trying to eat it as often as possible.. haha.. vegetarian beehoon tml morn! yum yum!
then something spoilt all the nice things...
haiyo~
the physio and pharm pract notes. *shakes head*
i totally gave up printing them cos my printer went out of ink halfways....
all cos the lecturer put the slides background as a dark coloured one.. and saved it in pdf.
gg... canot change and printing it is totally wasting damn lotsa of ink lah! *fist*

and a silly thing i did.. i exposed myself.. haha..
went to post a comment on clone's blog and got caught. lolz.. oh wells..
lucky this time i din give a shock expression, and "how you know" like what i did with jaz the other time. else i'd have look totally moron and idiotic lah!
hee. tho i aspire to be a himbo. stupidity is not a favourable attribute.
oh wells.
guess it's late and i ought to go sleep, else i'll die tml morn.
gonna doze off right after i prep for lab tml. =)


random thought other then yu..
i tink most of the ociffers posted to air force are prob **
and some of them are xxxx
and xxxx intersect ** equals yyyyyyyyy!
ha ha.
and what does **(dingding) means?
haha...
lalalalala lalalalala lalalalalala do do do~!(loving you tune)
;)

hm.. sunshine!

if only.. if only..
i'd wake up every morn in your arms and wake yu with a gentle kiss..
"morning sunshine. =)"

lovin' you

jus heard a contestant sing this on american idol.
she wrecked it so i went online to find the nice version.. a cover by leona lewis!
hoho.. simply drowned myself in it..
so.. wanta share and express.
enjoy~ =)

Lovin' yu is easy cause yu're beautiful
Makin' love with yu is all i wanna do
Lovin' yu is more than just a dream come true
And everything that i do is out of lovin' yu
La la la la la la la... do do do do do

No one else can make me feel
The colors that yu bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause lovin' yu has made my life so beautiful
And every day (of) my life is filled with lovin' yu
Lovin' yu i see your soul come shinin' through
And every time that we oooooh
I'm more in love with yu
La la la la la la la... do do do do do


wonder if yu can hear me.. and let go of the hurt.. to embrace a new beginning...

better man

must learn to be a better man.
be able to keep cool despite uncalled sarcasm.
and do not let frustration get to you. chill and keep composure. yes.
some things are just not worth geting angry over.

feeling the drain

sch starts. and i see the life slowly drain out of ppl.
weariness starts to acummulate and infest the surrounding. slowly, subtlely but surely.
and the psyche and boost that i got at the start seemed to have slowly died out..
and loneliness starts invading..
as everyday simply seems to consist of going to klas and back to the empty house..
there seems to be nothing worth living for..
no! i shan't let myself fall into the darkness.
bridge perhaps may provide some solace.
but bridge is still simply a way of channeling my energy.. and life.. nothing more..
no man's an island.. guess that's what bridge seems to say..
it takes a partnership to make things work. alone, nothing can be accomplished except failure.
sometimes i really wonder when i can find my partner..
a partnership that's meant to be.
really sick of being paired with ppl that aren't possible..
felt kinda insulted sometimes.. when ppl assume.
i may not be the best, nor always consitently good.
but i ain't that bad am i?
perhaps i should watch myself.. or give my best everytime?
or perhaps i should have simply started using my heart more right from the start.
bear what you must.
do what you should.
try what you may.
guess must stick on..

and as for yu.. sunshine.. maybe it's time to put aside your sorrow and void and start looking around. perhaps the right one is not near but yet not too far away from yu?
i'll gladly go watch ponyo, sing k, play mj, or simply watch yu dance.
and all these what ifs we can start answering tgt....
ok i think i'm not making sense. or simply irrationale?
dun care. just dun care =)

hmm..

葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的葉子
天堂 原來應該不是妄想
只是我早已經遺忘
當初怎麼開始飛翔
孤單 是一個人的狂歡
狂歡 是一群人的孤單
愛情 原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴

我一個人 吃飯旅行到處走走停停
也一個人 看書寫信自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裏
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

我一個人 吃飯旅行到處走走停停
也一個人 看書寫信自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裏
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

孤單 是一個人的狂歡
狂歡 是一群人的孤單
愛情 原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴
我一個人 吃飯旅行到處走走停停
也一個人 看書寫信自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裏
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

我一個人 吃飯旅行(到處)走走停停
也一個人 看書寫信自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裏
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀

翅膀 是落在天上的葉子

oh yes!

and no more feeling dumb or cheap.
must learn and take action. duh!

Lesson Learnt

Today i humiliated myself and did things i wish i hadn't..
then again, these are lessons learnt... sobbies..
like today when i sms jeremy regarding the job, i could have like sounded less confrontational...
perhaps.. it's today's job at jurong? a better question to ask...
anyhows it got cancelled.. the whole thing postponed to after cny where i dun tink i can work anymore.. and there goes the $800 bucks.. sobbies...
then i woke up late.. missed lunch with the bunch... dim sum!
couldn;t go cos i had to go back sch for the freshman sem..
and when i went for it.. it was not bad..
i felt psyched up for it tho.. hope i have the stamina to pull thru this entire sem..
i foresee an good learning journey if i put heart in it and not simply try to skive and cruise.
anyw.. i tried to ask for help from the co-ordinator when i had troubles with the reading..
i needed to get the files cos i screwed up with the downloads..
and guess what he said..
"so do you know any friends that has the file and can help you?"
"not yet"
"come ask me again at the end of the seminar"
diaoz...
in the end a kind klasmate informed me that i could ask ivle for help..
anyhows, met jiang sheng, siying and jin rong in the end..
and played a few rounds of contract bridge..
and.. without conventions and erm.. superb play.. we lost terribly.. sigh
but the part thing was that i flared up.. being passionate abt it.. and seeing bridge being played almost flambouyantly..it got to me.. sigh
but like they say, pai pin hao, ren pin jiu hao..
i guess i'm still not up to the mark yet.
den we went for bridge still.
played with wing hang. a fresh partnership.
so had many things to iron out.
took us a while to warm up and start playing bridge.
think the best game was the 3d made..
haha.. the situation seemed dire... but i made use of everything i've learnt and we made! woohoo! i can still recall the expression.. of puzzle when i refused to cover the lead of KH with dummy's ace, and drop my queen under the king.. haha...
this is to set up the suit later! if i cover with ace liao how i set up.. ruff like twice meh... not worth.. jsut swapping a safe heart loser for the dangerous club loser. woohoo!
then we got into some weird contracts sometime.. but thanks to the sanity of my partner.. most of it turned out fine..(those not we had to iron out)
went back to bedok in the end. debated with wing hang over the use of transfer and stayman for the whole journey. think he was convinced in the end.
oh wells.. guess the debate took alot of energy out of me.. and had me going for supper..

at the end of everything..including a stupid moment of courage i decided to take..
i figured.. i'm just a kid.. nothing more.. 21 year old kid. a lil bai huo.. really needed to learn more.. need to improve on interpersonal communication. speak properly and interestingly.
engaging to ppl, seeming more sincere(ironic?).
guess all this comes with maturity..
suddenly had the urge to grow up. not simply be a kid.
but still, despite the humiliation, i appreciate the gentle slap of reality.
made me see more. made me grow a lil more.
how funny it is that the conventional never helps me to grow..
it's the way out things that teaches yu the most.
oh wells.. guess i should retire and play mahjong with the rest tml at choo choo's place.
nite nite! if i can sleep alright..

secret

as long as obsession doesn't kick in and start to take control, all shall be fine. =)
and dun go around expecting too much.
use the heart, use the brain.

lifting up

apparently the recent bout of negativity has caught the attention of the ones who care and afflicted them..
ppl dun worry, bag is not emo-ing. just that he's whiney about things that aren't fantastic as of yet and sad things he had happen to notice.
anyhow guess what it means is that i need sleep so i wun feel sucky so easily and get a move on in life!
i'd try my best... esp in the coming 2 weeks where i'm gonna work 11pm-4am every night >.<

btw.. had this random thought the other day. 52 points on life, learnt from bridge! wahahaha..
oh wells, see how it goes and which platform i shall put it on =P

so i promise, more nonsense and laughters for everyone when sch starts!
and Fate, pls be kind to the poor souls.

missing you.. maybe.

blogs..

i went blog hopping a little, finding blogs of friends whom i can frequent.
and i saw an entry...
it made me feel cheap. dirt cheap.
i gues i din really know what i was doing.. simply giving in to temptation.. but not instinct.
i wasn't even feeling when i was doing it.. and that's sad.
perhaps i'm just a desperate whore. a flesh plug perhaps, used to stop bleeding and then discarded after use.
and btw, i hate hearing nice things. cos it's my soft spot. i feel better hearing nice things, sweet things.. only to know deep in heart i'm gonna get a hurt real bad later.
i really dunno what else i can do.
continue this type of life or maybe it's time to try to wade back into the light?
it totally sucks to do it without any love. it really does.

you know what? i;m simply careless. deviod of care. no care no nothing.
No love No hope No glory. No Happy Ending.

realise.

i just realised.. that i have not fallen for anyone since then.
I've not kissed with passion since.
I've not held a hand that felt right.
I've no one that i wil live for.. not even myself..

perhaps i'd have to just wait.. and i'd just have to wait.
is it really so?

Reality check

i am like super super tired. and perhaps weary.. which i hope not.
went for night cycling the whole of last night. hohoho..
1st pit stop was at the familiar blk 85 market place. sherman asked me to lead for the 1st leg as i tried recommending him the route that i have learnt over the past 3 years of cycling in the east coast area. so as always, i exited via the mandarin gardens underpass and took nallur road and turned back home. but sherman took the others to east coast road in the end and we all had to wait a lil while for the rest to come in. but i felt wronged.. like he told me i should take the main road cos the pavement would be easier to tread on. but i did just that! (with the exception of the nallur road stretch!) and after that it was all quick and easy. then the best part was he said i shouldn't take the routes with the private housing cos the pedestrian pavements are bumpy and uneven, and he took them down upper east coast road. what irony! its like be slammed with a charge by the guilty himself. and siying had to rub it in. as if i had failed and taken the worse route, when she doesn't even know the way exactly well... =_=
(she even questioned me when i took a shortcut pass the lagoon in the morning, whether i was sure the way would be correct. erm.. duh!)
this is all army shit... repackaged in a uni setting. sigh.
anyw, at 85 i had the usual bak chor mee, peng hger but no orh luah.(sobbies) simply a quick bite, some talking kok and we left.
followed all the way to sun plaza park.. had a few "funny" moments with the classic monkey see monkey do.. ppl following the wrong person... ppl failing to spot the easier slope 15m infront of them and other nonsense.. guess one can be a genius, but a mob is always stupid.
sun plaza was fun tho. damn long time since i've been there. =)
had real fun at the swing.. many close shaves when weijiang tried jumping on me while i'm on the swing. haha.. even got me tangled up once. thank goodness i've got a childhood and is adept with the swing.. whew~
and we took photos later! haha
funny moments with the funny poses and random shutter times with the remote..
and yong sheng.. haha.. too bad it was caught on video.. lolz... when he got poked, a vulgar thrust was observed.. nothing more shall be said =P
then it was time to go.. to changi, the den of the bapohs.. whom huiyang was enthusiastic on offering me to >.<
had a lil holland.. detours(like crossing the bridge, go a futher 100m and crossing back, like some ritual prob..), and chance meetings with some xxmm who are looking for east coast park.
we finally reach changi v! and the 1st thing ppl did.. buy nasi lemak cos we were all famished..
and i was dumb.. was supposed to help dai lo buy his share.. and i forgot.. >.< sorry dai lo!
but in the end...we played bridge!!! hoho.. totally can see shuyi light up when she's playing bridge lor.. and dailo says i light up too when playing bridge. haha..
finally... and finally... we went to bedok jetty to watch sun rise! or.. erm.. lighting up of the sky...
we bullied yong sheng! haha! oops =X
and he really looked like he was emo-ing when he sleeps lol!
and anyhow we all slept too.. and before we know it, it's 7 and it's daybreak!
that = mac breakfast!
helped like yee wen, peiqi, qing cheng, shuyi buy the $2 breakfast with milo. lolz!
waited like forever while talking about modules, to wait for the bike shop to open.
when we returned the bike, the uncle was weird lah! he looked aj.. (he prob is, but that's beside the point). anyw, he kept counting the bikes wrong! took like dunno how many times to get it right lah.
and xiao sao came. with a car! dai lo offered me a ride.. but i declined.. din make sense.. and prob i seemed too serious when i was joking aout a ride home earlier on... so i din really wan to take the ride.. not on the way mah.. so dun make sense.
when i got home.. the number one priority is like keeping awake. went out for australia like soon after i got home lah! haha.. lucky it was so, else i would have dozed off..
and australia was... f-ing long... but it's super nice!
it's really a good story and i din really cope with the scenes when ppl died... =(
anyhow, went on to meet jia hui at city hall. and only later then i realised i could have helped my mum collect her singapore mint stuff lah! then again.. i din expect to go town at all.. tho it was nice..=P
oh and we saw clement at raffles, and michelle(michelle law, the not so yang guang but also nice person..trying to be politically correct =P) while shopping at topshop.. haha... quite qiao. and me was like commenting on how pharm ppl all come out during the hols.
saw a agne b wallet, which seem fitting and nice.. prob be able to afford it once i get my pay.. yay! but not for myself lah of course.
den went to have my fav la mien hsiao lung pao for dinner! woo hoo! it was not bad.. hee... and i'm happy =)
but after the nice meal... the fatigue sets in.. reminding me that i haven't slept for the past 24 hours and should get some sleep soon...
so i went home! took bus 10.. haha weird but yes.. caught 40 winks and walked home from chai chee sec. up the slope and down the stairs. good training if i had ran the route.. but i'm just too tired >.<
and yes.. i am.. tired of being alone.. tired of being tired.. and tired of so many many things.
think it's time to rest. and not think or contemplate and stupd stuff. just rest and get better 1st. anything else, talk later. period.

ooops

boon cannot multi task.
test and proven today when i tried rollerblading.
totally cannot like talk and blade and not fall at the same time lah!

and obviously i'm shagged after a whole afternoon of skating..
i thot today was the 7th.. and i sent an sms wishing someone happy birthday!
gg.. i think it was not very welcome.. other than the fact that i got the wrong date and was one day early.. i think i seem like some weird stalker lah! >.<
sent a reply and didn't get any back..
guess that's the end.. sobs.. hai.. stupid me.. wrong move at the wrong time.

i always feel so stupid after a spurt of random courage and an silly act of foolish bravery lah!
damn it damn it damn it.
what to do now!!!!!!!!!

whew~

yay! managed to cover abit of my losses thru one night of mj...
haha think the secret is to remain upbeat.. tho it isn't easy when yu dun get anything yu want.. haha it's a vicious cycle i guess.
gonna go for ka ing's man yue later. got the cute cute velvet bear called canon. too bad we couldn't get the song canon in d recorded in it. else xiao gu will be very happy lorz..

quite surpised to see little boat online. but din dare go say hi.. haha
guess to pass my fh1101, i still need to get my cg1101 and 2101.. and perhaps more...
oh wells. i sometimes wish life was simpler and easier.
less ambiguity, more rationale and knowing what's good and right. all these surely wil make things easier.
then again, some information are simply there for the taking. just that it's in a diff language, not the superficial one we speak, but in the one the heart feels.
really hope i'd wake up and never sleep again.
just so i can see.. see the whole and it in full detail and the fragile people hiding behind their shields.
and that's a new year resolution.. haha.
think i shall draw up the new year resolution and plans once my year starts.
for now.. it hasn't end. so it's mj mj mj and mj for me! tho i wun mind something rauchy. a dirty surprise maybe. =P

so suay so bittersweet

i am so darn suay lately lah!
nearly got knocked down, buy bear no stock. no to mention mahjong always lose money...
anyw, met ding rui today at vivo.. and damn la! he pretended not to know me!!!!!
den when his gf heard me shouting out his name, and alerted him, den he bo bian..
till trying to act like he ignored me on purpose... sianded.. =_=
i'm saddened by this la.. like got friend dun wanto acknowledge yu.. then again is that a friend?
anyw in this case i rather yu totally ignore me lor...
shouldn't have been nice and greeted him. should have just walked on and act like nothing just happened. not just something good or great just did.

celebrated cairong's bdae today! =D
wented to marche for a nice dinner.. and learnt that vegs can be free flow!! hahaha..
but it was a fun dinner and lotsa talking kok.
and the cake came in a stylish cubic box..
and cr thot it was going to be a prank la!
but i think i spoilt the surprise but assuring her canele is a brand of confectionery.. lolz...
The cake was super duper nice! and hard to cut. ultimate.
it's dense and rich with cocoa flavour, while the cream mediates the taste of cocoa, with a refreshing touch such that the cake doesn;t taste sick after a while =)
the prezzie was nice too. goodie bag style with all the nice and thoughtful things..
think the pics are all gonna be up real soon =P

as for nite.. haha.. went to jazz @ southbridge. nice place to chill around for a while.
dan came in later, after his dance class(i think) and dinner.
had a round of drinks and "i've never"
hoho.. 1st qn was by jean.."i've never french kissed"
tada! and 5 ppl drank.. lolz.. bao4 liao4 sia.. tho dan claimed he only did cos it was a dare.. but.. haha.. a dare it is. =P
anyhows, din really drink a lot.. felt like it but din dare cos gotta paly a round of mj later.. if i za hu hows!!! so paiseh and expensive! so controlled myself. save the money for other times(and activites >.<)
dan on the other hand was a lil high.. and kept eyeing gina's erdinger lah! lolz..
in the end we shared one pint of it.. tho i drank most of it.. =P

and like most other drinking times.. my thoughts drifted.. haha into the land of what if..
and secretly i hope.. lol. for what.. i shall not disclose. see how things go.. maybe got chance..
=P