back with vengeance

i swear i shall return leaner and meaner.
anyhow i think i have to agree with what ivan says.
somehow i feel we are meant for greater things.
just keep waiting. the time will come.
watch out! all you worthless blokes...

waste

transient

it's funny how human relationships are..
the only thing that is constant is change.
everything is simply...transient.
the good and bad never stay the way they were.
guess this works both ways.

empathy

sometimes i wished i could empathise fully with you..
but something inside stops me from going in too far.
cos i know once i sink in, i won't be able to come off clean.
what can i do? tell me please... i really wanto know..
i hope a lucky coincidence can place the guiding stars on the path i'm supposed to tread.

OMG

OMFG!!!!!!!
i cannot believe my eyes...!!!!!!
woo hoo!!! yesh yesh yesh!
i was right!
woo hoo!
i knew it all along and this friend had to tell me no...
and insist it was not true!
but now i have proof!!!
woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!

scorpios

i think scorpios are amazing creatures..
they really are =)

IPPT

booked my ippt on 29 Aug
really hope i can make it..
and for all you friends out there..
please please remind me about ippt everytime you see me
breakfast lunch dinner supper..
please please please..

must train hard for it!
time to hit the gym after rag

ooops

i think i just stepped beyond the line..
damn!

Pork

I just recalled the hilarious episode last nite...
where i have accidentally been referred to as Pork...
somone pointed to the plate of pork infront of my and shouted "pork pork pork!"
and from another angle, it seemed to be pointing to me..
sobbies...

hilarious

had an expensive day..
cabbed 4 times in one day.
xiong sia..
but but but~!
hey hey! it was all worth it
i felt bad i was so hungry i sat down at fei cui and i just started to eat.
but the gang was like uber funny lah
esp nicholas...
at first i thought he was some quiet quiet boy..
who know the moment the time came..
he was actually some funny monster lol! =P

anyhow guess i should have been more careful with my words..
could have easily offended anyone who wasn't in for some hardcore teasing >.<

hiphop

was youtubing earlier
and browsing thru some choreo videos..
just suddenly rem someone who i'm not keen to recall..
that someone happens to be a hiphop dance instructor..

geeky peektures!

hm..
cam whored a lil..
trying to check out the angles and poses..
hahah... i am such a vainpot lah!
but this is all for the greater good..
am really sick and tired of looking horrid in pics
so i have now taken the 1st step out and try to look my best on pics!
yayayayayay!!!
haha.. finally got a few decent ones.. hehz..

anyw.. i think i'm into the geeky look >.<
ah...!!! somebody save me!

steamboat!

settled!
tml steamboat buffet at crystal jade!
yes!
hahaha... i love crystal jade!
but i'm gonna be late cos of my tuition.. =(
but but but.. better late then never!
xiao long pao here i come!!!! =D

hai

you know what.
i'm just whining.
that was all politics.
part and parcel of life, whether we like it or not.
just suck it up and go la.

ugly wagging tongues

it's funny how i cannot fully express myself on my own blog.
how i cannot vent some things cos some people will see.
and of these some ppl, some nosey ones will go around telling.
and the ones who hear dunno how to deal with it, so they'll be
a) worried or
b) pissed or
c) guilty or
d) emo

not everyone knows how to appreciate silent observation.
and not everyone knows how to deal with friction pertaining to themselves.
and not everyone knows how to deal with friction pertaining NOT to themselves.
they simply "do a good deed" and tell the person in question without any thought.
way to go blabbermouth.

high time to get a private blog.

arrrrgh~!!!!!!

sigh..
why can't people take me seriously....
and answer when i ask...
why can't people take themselves seriously...
and think for themselves...
sigh..

anyhow while i understand how everyone has their own likes and dislikes,
i cannot accept how some people try so hard to influence a decision that was never theirs to make.
and it's baffling no one makes the decision when they ought to make one.

beyond the skin

all that is gold does not glitter
nor all that glitters is gold

choices

leap into the darkness or stay and slowly rot?

surreal

i cannot believe this...
but hey, we all humans made of blood and flesh.
not hearts of iron..
now i'm in a dilemma...

maturity

i know my own place... i really do...

intuition

i dunno if it is intuition or what..
or maybe it's an illusion..
i can quite tell yet.
i anticipate and yet i hate to be disappointed.
the principle shall forever stand.
what will be will be.

growing up

it's only when you realised you dun fall for the same mistake again,
that you realise that you have grown.
it may be an overnight thing,
but it shall feel like a long long time...

i'm not ready

maybe that's why my life is so sad.
cos i'm not ready to receive the good things are may come my way.
i have no courage to go for them
no courage to get rid of the burdens pulling me back..

i pray for courage.

ill still

the dry cough has now transit into wet cough
but at least the throat is no longer irritated.
good sign! yay!

anyw, i'm reminded of how un-photogenic i am..
sobbies.. all my pics all look so weird
and i can't seem to be able to smile nicely..
oh well guess i'd have to do some prac on my own...
gonna cam whore when i get my cam back!!
woots!(this kinda reminds me of jason playing oom-cici in front of the mirror)

and yes, i must get the plan working in full time.
exercise more(dance counts)
and i need to do something about my face...
must strive to be like one of the Kiehl's boys!!!!!!

oooosh!

ill

having a bout a dry cough..
a complication from the wisdom tooth erupting(yay! i'm getting wiser)
from gingivitis to sore throat..
all cos of infection..
went to a doc of course.
and it was so ex...
the consultation was ok, but the amoxycilin was uber uber ex...
hopefully i will be up and running in 2 days time as the doc promised =)

on the way to tamps where the clinic was,
i almost died of dry cough..
trying hard not to scare the passengers around me,
i just tried my best to kept quiet =S
but.. i was doing all the weird hand actions here and there cos..
i know this sounds crazy,
but looping Hot'n'Cold suddenly inspired me to choreo a mass dance for it.
wahahaha.. think i'm driven nuts by all the 5 6 7 8
lolz..
hope i can come up with something decent soon =P

ps.. dun ask me when it'd be done hehe...

superficial

as much as i hate to, i confess:
i am superficial.
i am vain.

anyhow i'm beginning to appreciate looks..
and how it somehow silently squeezes to somewhere near the top of criteria?
i also now realise why i like lauren weisberger's book so much.
cos i can empathise with it.
not that i'm a high life socialite.
it's just i can't help but to agree with what she says in her book.

like...
friendly means available and desperate.
just had my dose today.
at how some ppl just dun get the signs(eg. when face says i am not interested)

like...
in socialising nobody gives a damn to what you think.
to keep a convo going, you jsut keep asking questions.
extremely effective.
though it is a very different case for sincere friendships, it works like a charm in social.

all the snippets she borrowed from life and put into her story.
they all tangible.(not totally real since it's fiction)

i guess i like what's really tangible. =)

fat

for once, i really feel the weight on me

bitch

you know.. i confess;
i love it when bitch inside me is out =P

scorpios

i think they weren't kidding when they say scorpios are predisposed to emo. the fact that i keep repeating Gravity is not helping...

tech glitch

i dunno why but the window for composing posts look so weird.. really gets me irritated when these tech glitch happens.
drains the feel out of me...
sigh.. looking at the posts i just made it seemed like they were posted for the sake of posting.. but oh well... kinda happens for most posts on events. arrrgh...

toyo~!

went timbre with the toyo kids after sp nite. the bad was not bad.. but i thought we were..
had the normal drinks, and i kinda couldn't take it when i realise that our kids were all so guai. they all dun drink, except maybe kenneht.
and the girls, all need to home early.
then again, the next morning we had to meet at 10am la..
kinda regret the timbre thing cos it wasn't quite right.
anyhows, we had rounds of truth or truth. and nobody knew what to ask anybody. damn... no juicy news
haha.. but at least we got to know more abt the kids. maybe one day organise a drink gathering where we bring our own alcohol =P

went for sentosa the next morning..
and it was raining with a dark overcast sky.
as i was waiting for the bus, shuyi msg, the time postpone to 1130!
i was like oh no.. damn i'm already out and what am i to do for that 90mins!!!!!!!!!
luckily she revoked it.
but as usual, ppl were late and we reached sentosa at abt 12+
it was normal. frisbee was ok.. and volleyball was fun!!!
haha next time should play more volley ball =P
after lunch we went to try the skyluge.
it was my first time at it..
and i must admit, the ride up is uber wlos....
but it was worth it to ride down.
i only wished the route was longer..
got the hang of it very quickly, with all the cornering and stuff, overtaking ppl.
haha.. i think next time i can try go-kart(anyone keen?)

had lunch at koufu. aunty shuyi (shamelessly) led some of us to the 7-11 to get hot water for our bei bei mian. something i never quite thought of. it was a good idea nontheless.

sat there and talked kok most of the time.
poor shuyi got shot alot.
everything she did she kena suan..
haha..
but guess they all love doing it cos shuyi's reactions were cute somehow. haha
we continued the truth session,
asking the 3 that din join us at timbre the night before..
i suffered bad karma when my question of "how far have you gone" got shot at myself...
i was frank.
i dunno if i shocked the kids when i told them "as far as you can think of on the normal side".
and frankly, not that they care abt this la, but i doubt they really would imagine how far it was.. and i'm not exactly proud to share. so. yeps.

feeling bad

went for sp night on tue..
was simply there cos i felt i had to be there.
i was totally not prepared for it..
cos i thought i had no sp, and that the guy whom i stood in for the other time prob would be coming do dione would be alone.
who knew the fella din come.. and i became the sp.. sobs..
that was my bad lah, should have prepared something..
she got me a pack of chocs but i had nothing for her, plus... i din even go talk to her.
damnit, i felt like a total jerk.

opening up

i dun know why but i seem to be opening up lately..
becoming more receptive to emotions.
wonder if that is a good thing or bad..

anyhow, i'm stuck with gravity.
it's a song that i really dun hope for anyone to identify with.

folly

i kinda just realised..
going to club to celebrate shuyi's bdae is kinda stupid..
isn't exactly a good place for something like that.
guess we'd have to come up with something better!

anyhow i appreciate the friends that care and really would tell the truth.
what sort of a friend sees something wrong with another friend and keeps quiet.
friends dun let friends err.

long sun

well just another weekend day passed.
had a bridge match in the afternoon.
met an uber nice opponent.
talks gently and stuff with no bad temper.
enjoyed the match well.
though we weren't enjoying victory,
we had good play =)
today's challenge was more on bidding then cardplay.
it was about getting to the right place.

then went for harry potter..
nothing remarkable about the movie.
it's just another movie.
like it's really a movie that happens have the same name as a book with a similiar plot
that's all.
it's not, like inspired from the book,
not a spin-off,
not a reiteration of the book.
just another movie.

cadbury eyebrows

OMG!
i must be crazy... but..
anyone wants or knows how to do the cadbury eyebrow?
=P

lily allen

her songs are good.
not exactly in the musical sense..
her tunes are unique thought not yet so fabulous.
she has a style that is so glaring and it's obvious in each of her pieces..
but what really gets me is how nude the lyrics are.

her songs aren't nice nice feel good sort.
in fact they highlight the disturbing and unspoken truths
open secrets that people see but refuse to acknowledge.
this is real. really real.

stunts

stunts happen alot in our lives.
it's funny sometimes, esp when it is a result of stupid acts in a moment of folly.(like calling chun yi which is chun yim plus shu yi in the xian zai you xi kai shi game)
it's cool when you can pull it off though(like the lift)
i really hoped to do the stunt well.. but it just doesn't seem to go too well..
it just doesn't feel right.
but...
i have my saviour!!!!!
wahahaha..
Thanks Val!!!! =D
she was uber nice to find the video and post me the link.
and i saw what i din do right for the stunt.
no wonder she did fly higher lah!
dumb! but since now i know then i should be able to perfect it soon.
try out then i know.

anyhow, hope i din piss jh off too much when i teased her abt the a****n thing..

sunshine cleaning

sunshine cleaning has no sunshine..at all!
watch sunshine cleaning the other day..
thought the plot was good.
plus they had emily blunt. one of my fav actresses(merryl streep is #1)
the movie started out slow,
with the protangonist being portrayed as very pathethic.
which really worked..
i mean isn't it pathetic to fall from the high sch glamour,
sleeping with your ex, who is already married and sleeps with his own wife.
that's virtually sharing your man.
unless it's purely for sex, no self respecting person would want this in their life.

then came the turn.
she went into crime scene clean-up
from simply clearing up the place,
to the occasion where she sat with an old lady whose husband just died of suicide.
it seemed like she has taken her career to another level.
like she is different from her peers in the trade, that she has a heart.
but that was only one occasion.. nothing more...
i was abt to rate the movie good..
but after that it just died..
an accident, burning down the house of a client ended her in heavy debts and she reverted back to her old job.
well done.
and the ending?
her dad suddenly sold the house to raise capital for the her to start the business again.
and whatever happened to sunshine cleaning. The End.
when the credits rolled i was like thinking wtf.

rag prac #2

apparently, rag has taken up alot of my time.
not that i dun enjoy it
but i'm just day in day out going for rag =)

but i can't help but feel stress for the rag com
cos time is short obviously.. and i really hope we can pull tgt in the end =)
anyhow, the afternoon session is just slack i guess..
maybe cos i a henchman, so when weiting is teaching the workers,
then the henchmen just stand around and watch
really wish we could revise the moves(or maybe we should have had taken our own initiative)
and danced along with the rest.

stayed back after prac today to watch the night session and help out for float.
really feels good to be contributing.
it kinda affirms my worth, which is a feeling i like.
hope i can do more. for more ppl. for my friends. =)

gravity

by sara bareilles

heard this off the blog of someone.
someone who'll always be at an arm length away.

most guy dancers are gay

today we had a lil small talk.
anubis, the plague queen's hench(wo)men (3/5) gathered around for some small talk.
and sue lynn was commenting on how the guy dancers in ensemble are almost all AJ(not anderson junior college, and no offence intended. it's simply how it is termed)
at the back of my mind i was thinking how true it is..
how the guy dancers that i know of are either confirmed aj or well.. most prob are.(my intuition tells me so and dun ask me how i know, and who there are, i won't out them.). and i refer those who are really dancers, not freshies who come help out for rag every year. i simply haven't know one personally who isn't aj. though i have to admit i dun really know many dancers and i have seen some who have girlfriends and prob are straight.
anyw, sue lynn was saying how all aj people have at least a tinge of bitchiness in them.
this.. i agree wholeheartedly.
there isn't an aj person i know of who doesn't have a bitch inside.
yet there are girls that i know that don't! imagine that.
but jas thinks not; she thinks all guys have a bit of bitchiness inside of them.
and both sue lynn and i disagree! and we both defended the guys.
no, not all guys have a bitch inside them.
you will see when you've seen enough.
as for the bitch in every aj guy part...
hehehe....
anyhow, stay clear of bitches. unless you have a bitchier bitch inside to unleash. =)

money

sigh..
i really hate this issue,
but really this is sometime i must address
i admit i am not very strict abt this..
maybe that's why i dunno how the cash depletes to nowhere..
of course i cannot expect everyone to be like me.
it's good to be shrewd.
ppl who are careful with their money.
i'm ok even if they are calculating..
like i dun owe you a single cent and you shall not owe me too.
even if they pay they pay back right down to the smallest cent.
that's fine, that's simply how they are.
for those who are stingy, then i guess too bad for them.

BUT
ppl who like to carve off others.
the gian png sort. no way.
i simply totally cannot stand it.
ppl, who think being treated is an entitlement,
and giving a treat is like a great taboo, are not ok.
cos "i'm poor" is one common excuse.
yes, poor indeed-not financially, but in spirit.

kindly enlighten me, how to price a favour to friends.
i chatted with you for 10 mins so that's worth about $xx.xx?
i accompanied you on a trip to the printing shop to collect documents so that's $yy.yy?
(ps: really lots of thanks for Jia Hui for helping me print so many notes for so many occasions. i really appreciate you doing this. =] )
these sounds extreme and exaggerated.
but this is how ridiculous it seemed to me when i encountered real life situations of ppl who are overdoing the calculations.

guys who are like that are the worst.
the worst story i heard was a guy F driving down from simei to east coast for a birthday party
offered to pick up 2 gal friends along the way at bedok. anyhow bedok was def on the way.
when he reached the destination, he simply turned back and said nicely he'll only take $1.50 each for the car ride to east coast. and he wasn't joking. one of the gals paid up. the other, W felt so awkward abt the odd figure and simply gave $2 for the ride. the guy. shameless.
[the names have been withheld to safeguard the reputation.]

plans

think they next few weeks will be eventful.
planning to go clubbing for shuyi's bdae,
going sentosa next week(omg.. peeling episode 2)
sp night next week too.
shall try to plan for the celebration thing..
get the prezzies and reservation.
hope we can get enough ppl and be able to get a guestlist.
else ppl who come late are gonna queue for a uber long time... =(
anyw i sincerely feel that the guestlist is really more worth it cos the guys/even gals dun have to pay cover charge and everyone simply pays for the alcohol they drink.
but since it's ladies night, the girls dun have to pay to get in; they'd simply need to queue
and god knows how long it takes.
oh wells.
i'm sure we can work something out. a plan that is convenient for everyone.

rag prac #1!

rag prac today was fine..
just that i felt it wans't systematic enough..
esp the warmup..
like how the stretching and isolation was jumbled up..
and the music was played while we were doing crunches..
but we din't quite follow it..
i think we should play the music and follow the counts
feels better i guess..
but my only complaint is that it felt haphazard

but overall it was an awesome prac.
learnt some moves.
foward roll and backward roll din seem so cool
but the beng4 zi that ys was teaching did look good alright..
and it was funny to see sue lynn tried to do it with grace =P(pun intended)
met sue lynn whom i never spoke to before
and realised she's quite fun to talk to.

other than that we din really accomplish much.
heard weiting's sick. down with fever.
hope she gets well soon and come back to teach us rag.
which... is like 3 weeks time. hope she's fine.

after prac they took the freshies down to look at the float
sadly i din go cos i volunteered to stay behind to look after jas stuff(laptop eh!!! = $$$$)
val was nice and she stayed with me.
not long the others came
there was siying fiona and mag.
there were the freshies who came later..
did some intro, talked some stuff
then i left for bukit batok
i bought more wipes
and headed back to clean the house for a 2nd time.
but this time with dettol liquid.
just to be doubly sure...........

going to orchard with dailo and jas tml.
hope it'll be a great trip =)

peeling?!

OMG...
sianded..
i still cannot understand why i am still peeling.
they just won't all come off at once!
please please.. will the new skin please grow out please grow out...
and old skin please be gone please be gone.
PRONTO!

rag!

just read the email abt rag..
and they're meeting 12nn at clementi mrt station..
which kinda reminds me of last year.
where we all met at clementi mrt as well.
had a lil of lunch and all..
met a senior who seemed to have vested interest in me.. hahaha..
but the first time was weird tho i rem..
i knew no one there except the dance ic's

this year.. it seems the case again..
i'm the only year 2 in the batch other than sue lynn.. and i dun really know her well..
as for the freshies.. i know none of them.
*shrugs*
so i guess i'm going there as a loner again..
and somehow i just have a bad feeling from everything..
i just have a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen...
i'm darned sure.
i just dunno what.
damn.
gotta just wait and see... wait and see...

what you can do with ten bucks? #1

buy a dark chocolate decadance from godiva.
it's like an ordinary chocolate ice blended.
but at the first sip you will know the difference.
the real chocolate taste you get from it is so indulging that it puts the mac-cafe ice blended chocolate to utter shame(in my opinion, mac cafe is totally crap)
if this costs 10 bucks, the macs version should cost like 50cents.
the first half is worth like 7.50 already.
the drink is sweet and not too rich, but leaves a lingering taste of real chocolate.
common to all ice blended drink, homogeneity is a problem.
all the ice floats so when like half the drink is finished, the last half is always like bland ice..
but.. it was not that bad. near the end, even down to the last glacier of ice, the chocolate taste persists. not simply some frozen water. and that makes it worth the last 2.50.

plus plus... they have a rebate promotion now!
spend $10 and above for the first time, you will be issued a rebate coupon(which essentially is simply the receipt) and on your next purchase, you either enjoy 50% discount under $10 or $5 off for purchases over $10. and that translates to $5 for your next cup of dark chocolate decadance. =)

case closed

case closed.
the random girl last night was NOT jessica.
thank goodness i din go up to say hi.
and thinking abt this reminded me of something.
i was made to stand outside the club and made to face the fan
cos the bouncer could not take an accurate measurement...
i was perspiring too much after queuing for so long..
and the thermometer read 35.8!
and he refused me cos i'm not hot enough?!
it's like wtf?!
or maybe it really cos i'm not hot enough.... sobbies T_T

how to appear good

to look good,
be in a dark place,
or simply be in low resolution.
helps alot. hahahaha...

it helps to promote a 8/10 (courtesy of a freshie:"face only ar...8/10")
to a 9.5/10! =pPpPpPpP

but frankly frankly and seriously..
with good physique,
you'd still be deemed attractive.
with good complexion,
you'd hardly fall below average.
with good interaction,
you'd hardly be left on the shelf.

but ultimately
the secret to looking good:
radiance.(aka 容光焕发)

RAW!

went for fq's dance performance today at the butter fact =)
it was not too bad
i totally loved the part where the guy did the beatbox..
sounded like uber cool on stage.
haha but no one knows how much work it takes to practise before the stage lah..
and of course how weird it looks to beatbox to yourself >.<

i must say i was motivated(not to the level of inspired) by them..
like how i suddenly feel the urge to start prac for rag! =D
of course it's a diff level to what they are doing lah..
rag is like not so up on technique as compared to the concert..
but the fundamentals are the same. and energy.
now i begin to appreciate why the dance ic stressed so much on it.
and frankly.. i really thought the nus dance blast is much better than this...
maybe it's the adrenaline rush and they are not quite used to it?
anyhow, i really liked the dance blast performance.
shall keep my eyes peeled for any performance at sch.. haha

cw came late, but thank goodness he came.
had a lil of clubbing fun without being too much into it..
had a couple of drinks. played some games..
haha and i realised my 猜拳 skills are that bad =P
but it was good fun nonetheless..
but the alcohol was bad..
i really felt bad for recommending something that ended up bad..
the jager bomb at zouk was good.. but the one at butter fact was not that fantastic..
not to mention the long island tea...
everything seems better at zouk eh.
sobs.
i conclude, butter fact drinks are expensive and not strong enough.. ceeet marney sobbies..
but they compensate with one thing.. the crowd.
the crowd is good. good quality =D
but today wasn't so good.. cos.. mostly it's ppl who went for the concert.
by like 1am the whole place seemed deserted..
and the dancefloor was seems to be closed up..
cos the dancers started to battle there..
a good sight to watch, but not quite good try to dance around..
haha...
and i saw this girl who looks so much like jessica lah!
and she smiled at me as if to say hi.. i wondered if it was really her..
cos i didn't quite recognise her in the make-up...
never seen her in make-up before
but i've been told she goes clubbing.. and the guy the girl was with looked kinda familiar
think he's from sch..
from voices if i am not wrong...
anyw, posted a query on her wall and just waiting to see if i had really seen her.

anyhow the day closed
and i got home stinking of alcohol..
couldn't quite sleep...
not just cos i'm starting to have 2 ulcers, but seriously.. i dun really know
think my biological clock has been screwed up.

i kinda realised though.. the key to good sleep is really quality..
but how to get that i'm not quite sure.. *shrugs*
oh well.. hope i can catch more sleep before i met the rest at jean's house.
which reminds me..
when i was niao-ing the girls for being late,
jean was trying to defend themselves:
"cos the mrt stopped at every stop!"
and i went o.O

peektures!

i kinda just realised the importance of being photogenic(not earnest =P)

tix

today i managed to sly jas to go cathay with me
cos no one else was going with me..
haha always full of nonsense we are..
anyhow the time came when i had to go for tuition,
i always hated how it was impossible to squeeze up the train at city hall...
i had to take from raffles place and endure the long ride to pasir ris...
sobbies..
but at least today's tuition session was good.
the kid did learn and i managed to teach
was listening to mei you ru guo all the way back and my mp3 didn't die on me =)
hope it's things turning for the better!

hohoho...

xoxo

start!

tml shall be the start of busy-ness.. hahaha...
where all the activities will start falling in...
watching fq's performance on thur,
meeting jean and gang on fri,
then sat and sun got tuition.
mon all the rag dance pract will start proper..
woo hoo~!
busy july here i come!





ps: pls let me have some personal time to spare with ppl i care abt ;)

still peeling...

i shall attempt... a body scrub!
rawr!

peeling!

and god!
i need an exfoiliater..
i can take this no more...!!!!

itenary

today's plan.
1. get my ass out of the house
2. buy the tickets from cathay(ETA:4.30)
3. chill a lil at starbucks and plan for tuition
4. go to pasir ris for tuition
5. run at night(hopefully... >.<)

small world

i love and hate the fact that the world is so small...
ppl that i cannot hide from..
ppl that i somehow find..
what a strange symphony of events.. the coming is gonna be heartwrecking and interesting at the same time.

courage

please grant me the courage to face up to the people i have so long tried to avoid...
that is the only way for life to move on...

interaction

you know how they say social interaction improves both your intelligence and mood for the day?
i think it's right man.
hahaha..

anyhow, i'd prob be going to town tml to just walk around and look look see see.
and of course to complete an impt task.
buy tix for og outing on thur.
going town alone is depressing lah...
but if no choice i guess i'd have to do it then.
anyone wishes to volunteer to accompany this poor peeling person? =D

home sweet home

finally got back to bedok.
and guess whom i met at bb...
sharon neo! omg!
that is like the last place i'd expect to see her lah!
but well i had always wanted to ask her where in bukit batok she stays since she mentioned on fb that she stays there.
but too bad i din get to go for the pri sch gathering to ask her that.
got a quick update of the pri sch mates and how they are doing.
most are fine and unchanged.
heard some flattery(hahahaha... i think flattery is really my soft spot. you need a favour from me, just say i'm 8/10 and i'll doing anything for you. ANYTHING. muahahahaha... maybe maybe.. =P)
haha but anyhow think they are a fun bunch.
hope they plan another one soon, before yin yue flies to beijing for her tcm course.
strangely while i dun really contact yinyue, i think i'd miss her when she leaves lah!
must must plan a mj game soon for reunion sake. yeah.

woo hoo~!

cannot go out =(

sigh.. the peeling is getting bad.. it's almost as if it was "chimeric"
patches here and there... irritated!!
i dun think i can go out and see ppl like that lor..
and i'm not even being vain here... =(

maybe?

maybe i should go shopping today.
broke but still can look look see see mah! =P

hyperactivity

guess nuah-ing and high caloric diet has made me hyperactive?!!!!

GG

OMG....
i cannot believe i just did...
i feel so... xoxo!
muahahahahaha

exercise

i believe in if you have it, flaunt it.
if i had 6-packs, i'd flaunt it too!
too bad i'm not exactly near...
even though my friends tell me i dun really look fat
i highly doubt it!
time to work my ass off and follow the men's health regime

Surfin for nutz

this house is really driving me crazy.
surfing on the net is very very scary.
and it's not helping to be cooped up in the house.
i'm so gonna swear of surfing once i get out.

now i see why j***** likes stalking so much.
it's amazing who you can find.

bad bad bad year ahead.

i just happen to browse..
and i realise how small the world is..
i think i'm gonna be screwed next sem..
the next half of year is not gonna be easy...
sigh.

Help. Please.

hm...

cooping in the house all day must be making me crazy..

all these whatifs 2

the only way to ans all these whatifs
is the try to make them all come true.
dun miss out the good ones =)

all these whatifs

all these whatifs

alone vs solitude

it's totally random..
i was simply doing the dishes
then the flood of thoughts flooding through the floodgates(emphasis intended)
i suddenly felt alone again...
like how there aren't quite ppl out there we can trust...
even family.
as if we can only trust ourselves.
the feeling is scary.
even the thought of being alone chills me.

but ironic isn't it..
a scorpio that finds solace in solitude,
actually afraid of being alone.
sigh..where is my soulmate?=(

anticipation

it suddenly dawned upon me..
the restlessness that i sometimes feel...
all this unexpended energy trying to burst out of me
a cross between euphoria from an andrenaline rush and anxiety from desperation.
i think it has a name:
Anticipation.

=)

temptation

they come in assorted forms
and random times,
where you least expect them.
i got visited by one of them today.
guess i should stay firm cos i know nothing good would blossom out of it.
it'll be just another bad blood like last time..
i fear it would happen again.
i really fear so...

getting blacklisted is the thing i want least...
their opinions matter to me... and i am a mono, not a di.

i must be crazy

i'm actually feeling alone.

exercise

you know what,
i think it's high time i get those woobly ass of mine moving
time to get some exercise.
sumpah!

uneasy

sometimes i just can't help thinking about a life that i could have possibly missed out.
it would perhaps have been a better life.
with a bigger circle,
less conventional,
more atrocities,
less stable perhaps,
more scandals,
less mechanical,
more emotions,
less trouble,
more fun.
i will never know what i miss out.
all these what ifs

condemination

ignorance is really one of the worst things around.
not knowing the situation, and dying without knowing why, is one of the worst things that could happen.
imagine a backstab.
sigh.. all these reminds me of the war game during camp.
never had i been so political in such a long time(though the extent of it is peanuts compared to what ppl usually do at work, in sch, or with family)
forming alliances, breaking alliances, getting betrayed.
it all seemed so trivialised.
and here i am, so silly, worrying about the strain on friendship, kinship
while others are thinking of who and what to exploit next.
i am tired of such things
yet i cannot escape from it.
where can i find ppl who treat others sincerely?
find ppl who truly care?
who won't leave you in the lurch?

i'm sick and tired of the pretense.
i really really am.
oh yes, and dun worry abt any obligations towards me.
it doesn;t really matter anymore.

sunburnt

i am super super sunburnt lah!
and i'm peeling painfully...
thank goodness sp night is not tonight.
else i would never go out with a painfully peeling face

*vanity in progress*