The true truth

Actually there had never been a need ever to find out or know the truth. Because while it perhaps matters now for whatever reason, it will not matter anymore. And to some, it never mattered. A cherry on the icing: To all of you who still have a choice, which story do you prefer? I am forced to believe there is no Richard Parker. Simply because I cannot unknow what has been known.

The month after

It's been a month since. Much was learnt in just these 4 weeks. I learnt that not everyone cares about the truth. Not everyone values integrity. Not everyone understands. At the same time, I am consoled by friends who understand, with some having gone through a similar plight; I am proud that I have lived by integrity, and to be in the company of friends who hold similar values; I am blessed to have friends who care, each in their own way, regardless of their opinion on what happened. I thank those that helped me grow, and those that soothed me so. Friends come to you for 2 reasons: Either they want something from you, or they have something to offer to you. I count my blessings give thanks for the latter.

On friends

I'd rather a friend who would tell and teach me right from wrong. One that attempts to show me both sides when I'm undecided. I have doubts about those that simply state "I'll support whatever decision you make." On the surface they may seem supportive, at the same time I can't help but to feel if I had chosen wrong path, would they still support my decision and let me perish? Or perhaps they will wait and only to save me in the nick of time?

Forbidden fruit

Had thought back about what happened and got reminded of the story of Adam and the apple.

New and old

It was an eventful week that ended nicely with the arrival of my new scooter. Excited much, I was. With my new ride and restored freedom to travel around again. As I tested out my new ride, I realised I had been subconsciously comparing this new scooter I bought for myself against the old one lent to me. The throttle was more responsive, brakes were more effective, handling was smoother. Having owned this new scooter for the very first time also meant that I had to start from ground zero, with the documentations, with the maintenance and grooming. I was actually contented with the old scooter, despite not being the owner, riding it as the number N-th rider. I would have probably continued with it, if not for the fact that circumstances require I return the scooter. Then again if not for that, I wouldn't have gotten a new one only to realise it was better in so many ways, and most importantly, it was truly mine and not a loan that might just be taken back anytime.

Alternate story

I remember years back, we watched a TED presentation by a Nigerian writer. She spoke about the danger of a single story. A few days back I read a shared post, written by a third party in a relationship. He wrote that he got together with a married man, who had to divorce his wife. He defended his stand stating that it was the lack of maintenance in relationship that resulted in the separation. He claims that he is not the home wrecker, the two spouses are and that it was their responsibility. He takes no responsibility and adds how the home got wrecked is irrelevant. He takes the stand that he did nothing wrong - a point I would agree only if the world was centred around him only and nor the people or actions around him are relevant. While it is true the weakened relationship allowed contributed to the eventual separation, and both parties in it are responsible for holding up to their commitment. This may had been a necessary factor, but not a sufficient one. This doesn't justify the infidelity, nor make it inevitable. A weak relationship may be a significant etiology, but it's not the only one. Else, how would we explain for the "lucky" men who can happily have a wife and mistress simulataneously. Furthermore, a weakened relationship could have been saved if given a chance. Alas, it was dealt a deathblow, an "innocent" deathblow by the writer and his lover. The infidelity has been a sufficient factor by itself. All in all, the writer was right in his own right, that is if we put ourselves in his shoes thinking as selfishly as he did. It was easy to see the allure of an alternate story. It provides a viewpoint less mentioned, and appear to show great insight for knowing a little more than what conventional wisdom offered. The arguement often look valid prima facie, making it easy to accept. But the with thorough thought, the loopholes becomes jarring. And if we apply Occam's razor, the sensational masquerade falls apart the core truth reveals itself.

Aftermath

It's almost a month after the fallout. There had been many ups and downs. Many accusations thrown at me, multiple salvage attempts made by me. By this point, I can only half heartedly wish you find that happiness you were looking for. And I pray that when you are disappointed, I would have been in a safer and better position. I hope you disappear and never to return. I'd only want the lessons learnt and memories gone. Simply because they haunt.

My great fortune

After all these, I learnt about the friends who truly care, and seen through those who are simply going through motion. And to you out there. Thanks. =)

Fact of Life

The sad fact is:at the end it doesn't matter if a a party cheated in a relationship. Whether the relationship sustains or not, the cheater gets no penalty. When they revert to their partner, they call it true love. When they break up to go with their new partner, it's called true love too. Moral of the story? No need morals.

The Truth

You said you weren't happy. I believe that. You said I was inconsistent, unappreciative,self righteous and that made you unhappy. You also said I had not made you feel loved. You said we are very different, in the way we think and in the things we do. All for a very long time. Then why only now? Why push on for the wedding, the house. And simply why drag on for so long? I can't help but think I was just a convenient person for you to get attached to, when you probably thought there were no one else available then. Now things have changed, meeting more people,raised self esteem and confidence. You meet a bunch of gym matea and found a very good "friend" in your gym trainer JJ. He sparked your interest and he reciprocated. He attended to your needs when you were down in a "time of crisis". Sending you home, and going all the way to the bed with you on 2 nights in just 3 days. You claim to have only hugged on the bed, but refused to give further details, and only maintained you did nothing. Yet He was well prepared with his own gym towel(as told by you) to shower at our house when he is driving you home. I find it hard to believe that it was not premeditated. Especially considering he was prepared and you had him twice. The next question is then, how long has it been? Considering the fact that you were both prepared, and he's even attached with a girlfriend. It's not hard to surmise that it grew from a long time back and reached critical mass only sometime ago. You confessed JJ made you see why you were not happy. And we can see how he makes you feel happy. And you claim you hadn't cheated? I doubt it takes documented proof of you and him engaging in sexual activities to count. What you have done so far and also that it must have began before we split, that's already cheating, surely on the emotional level, and of course you deny cheating on the physical level. So don't pin it all on me, when you feel what i have goven was not enough for you and you start to look somewhere else, then finally cutting me off when you found a new boat to jump. You said you had a lot to lose, trying to demonstrate the gravity of the situation. Your superficial reasons seemed strong, but a discerning eye can tell it is not the true primary reason. And your denial on cheating and refusal for explanation is showing. It's time you learn responsibility and fidelity. So go ahead, peddle your show to your friends. I'm sure there are discerning ones who will understand the truth just as there will be deluded ones adverse to reason. And yes, I still give a fuck about reasons. Because they tell.

Gift

The Lord gifted me perception, and bound it with emotions. Perhaps it's to temper me before I can master it, and to rein me in should I go out of hand.

True story

It's not the love language;it's not loss of physical attraction;it's not the getting mad at the nonsense that people and you do. It's simply that you crave for new experiences which I haven't given you. That's the true story.

若是

若是我们坚信,我们可以走到永远。 若是我们真诚,我们将会密无嫌隙。 在那时那刻,妳却真诚坚信地若无其事; 在那时那刻,我们就已划下永远的嫌隙。

Mercy

At this juncture, you might hate me. Or even hate yourself more. Now there is no turning back for the path you have chosen. I've given you chance to explain yourself. You refused it. How I wished you hadn't. Or perhaps you are just showing me mercy by granting me the resolve to leave you, albeit I'm still all battered and bruised.

A chance missed

I saw the signs. And I gave the chance. I thought it was only a phase, until the confrontation. I had stayed my hand until you forced it. I pressed for the truth, which you refused to tell. I was hurt. Badly hurt. Alas I still had faith then, and I decided to give you and us another chance. You abandoned it. I held on to hope, albeit cautiously. In your folly you brewed your fall. Your friends could have saved you, but in their pride and ignorance, condoned you. Now you are beyond saving. You and your "friends" continue the "Don't always blame it on others!" campaign in oxymoron. The hammer eventually falls; only your family had been your true protectors. Maybe all these are from a divine intervention to show me the medley of the seven sins.