hermit

no Life. period.

FREEDOM!

I want to be Free... sick of having so much burden and inhibitions.. when will i gather the strength to break thru?
guess there are somethings i have to let go before i can get moving..
and yes, i need to do exercise!!!!!!!!!!!
no more slp in early morning wake in late afternoon
no more supper
no more excessive redundant caffeine
and no more getting affected by mind games that ppl play.
I'm not guilty for not choosing yu. not at all. you may think yu deserve better; i deserve much much better than yu. yes yu. and Thank God.

err....

2nd post with 1 hour.. well done.
anyways. i look like an ah tiong now cans! damn it...
should have learnt my lesson and take good care of myself. like no stupid late nights, no dehydration, no too-lazy-to-groom.. arghz...
to be in and look like i'm in tip top condition is important too!
sigh. now i'm really cui and look cui. diaoz.. time to do something about it.
1st and foremost(not 1sir) drink water...!!! hydration hydration!
must hydrate to achieve nice crystal lattice? :P just kidding!

Meow~

I'm really a 100% cat person lah!
temperaments like a cat, behave like a cat, think like a cat, act like a cat.. and most of all.. like a cat... have h***s from time to time.. >.<
damn!
anyone can tame this cat?

Sian gao chut zup

sian~
stuck in the pgp room dunno wad to do.
i'm not hungry but i crave for supper!(no wonder i'm steadily gaining weight.. what happened to all the resolutions and regime? =_=)
but it's so weird. so out of place, fong seng's gonna be packed with the xpharm peeps, and i somehow dun really fit cos i'm not here not there.
then again, i stay here and rot meh?
maybe go buy food bah. walk walk there, order food and see how.
the ppl are nice, so they'd prob ask me to join them if i seem to be going to dine pitifully alone.
and then my addition adds awkwardness to everything. all cos i'm anti-social.
what to do what to do?
it is always at this times i face a dilemma. decision crisis. always the start that takes the most time, like how it's always the process that takes the most determination.
fortunately, some random person reminds me at bridge. no guts no glory.
try and see how it goes i guess. perhaps it's better to tried and failed then to not try and fail anways.
final decision. go for supper lah. worse come to worse, awkward den make a move early lor!
then again, all friends, maybe not awkward leh? or bonus! catch fish! muahahaha...
oh wells, guess it really takes a lil bit of being thick-skinned so that life wun be too nan guo...
screw perfection and screw it lahz.
i'm gg for supper and make myself less sad and motivate myself to exercise no matter what.
jere tan, yu may not see this, but book yu as my mj/exercise buddy liao. lolz

Saddening.. time to get a life!

I just realised why i dun like the internet. and how i survive using the internet during sch term cos i have no other choice and work is the best distraction. =(
everytime i come online, it simply reminds me of all the things i dun have, and hope to have. always procastinating, always finding reasons, factors, excuses when things to happen or otherwise. this is sickening. this is burning my soul, draining the life i've painstakingly accumulated all these slow-moving years that pass like eternity.
Time to make a move. Get a life weebs. you'd better do;else you'd end up with nothing but a screwed up life and loads of sorrow to enjoy... >.<

Sick

Simply sick. sick of many things. sick of them not going well. sick and tired of being sick and tired. And the cycle goes on. guess it's time to really Want and not just want. =(

Event year closed!!!! =)

woo hoo!!! the event year closes with the completion of the marathon and the collection of yet another finisher t-shirt!!!!! finisher of 42.195... lalalala.. yeah hey!

and it's now time to start another marathon.. for mahjong and chilling and hanging out. hehez.. to all my friends, yu are all booked =)

and to you.. the sentamentalist.. would you have space for another sentamentalist.. or the chance to give it all a try?

Sors Immanis

fate is monstrous sometime.
sometime it seems we need fortune's favour to get things going..

allure of the dark night

went wala wala to chill right after bridge today.. in time to catch the nice band. with loud music and interesting alterations. lol!
ordered the usual-long island. my long time fav! haha..
(gimme a long island and yu can take me home baby =P)
and listening to the band was really a mood saver. alcohol lifted inhibitions and music brought the soul.. suddenly i had this random thought.
i realised i love the night. cool black nights that are hot. the same beautiful night that gives a false sense of security that we can get away with anything under the darkness. something that contrasts the clear bright day with all its hypocrisy.
too bad the time's short tonight and the company was meant only for chilling. haha..
guess i'd have my chance in due time.. after the stand chart, after the errands and duties.
PS x'mas eve's on a wed~ =D

What is wrong with me?

You can't please everyone in the world.
But you can piss everyone else off. whatever happened to conservation? or have i lost my mind in the study of science?
Why is it so hard.. i know i am not the best or anywhere near the better.
but am i really that screwed up? so much so that people have to try to pretend to not abhore with all their might.
I just can't let go cos of how things have turned. I regret crossing the line in fool's hope that something good will come out of it. all the more it burns me when i knew exactly what will happen. then again, my sight is limited. for i am too trusting.. too naive to believe people... them, you.. and even more stupid to take things at face value.
I deserve it, i guess. Everything. for not living. for trying to cruise through life, oblivious to the hurtful truth, wishfully thinking that ignorance is bliss, and conveniently trying to forget what was known. foolishly hope that good things will come in the end.
Fate has her funny ways to get at us. an aptly planted reminder, a timely retribution.. merely a few of her ways to throw me back into the abyss.. only to see me slowly and painfully try to crawl my way out. as usual, as always.
i'm sick of this. i want to Live. and i don't want to lose anymore. i don't want to be at the mercy of anyone anymore. perhaps it's gonna take a fight. but i shall not let it go.. else all shall be lost.. and i fall to oblivion to where perhaps, i really belong..

Give me a mentor, a soulmate, a friend! i beseech. because i think i won't be able to move on without one.