Anything

If it is a path of happiness further down, I will do anything to have us back. But is it?

It pains me more than you think.

know not

Sometimes I think if myself as transparent, in both sense of it-- mister cellophane and an open book. Yet I am often proven wrong. And most disappointingly, you prove me wrong again. Of all people, I am sure you would be able to tell the difference between hiding and indifference. You would know I hide because I am weak and do not have the strength to do it. But I guess I was wrong. Just like how I naively imagined that there were angels that would convey your heart to those that mattered; they just do not exist!
At dusk, what greets me will just be the four walls and their echo, and the phantom cat that has yet to arrive.

Right

Sometimes we may be given rights. When trespassed, we always have the option of invoking those rights, but would it be worth doing so? Similarly, would it be worth being right or righting things?
Sometimes, it would perhaps be better to leave the error in. Why bothering risking conflict in attempts to enlighten the dim? You want to be right, as always, then you can have it. Hope it floats your boat =)

Odds:against

Sometimes in life(in fact most of the times) the odds are often stacked against you. There could be a selfish reason, or a malicious one. Yet strangely, they all seem so curiously naturally. Nothing comes easy or smoothly. Troublefree is simply a fairytale. Booby traps, dark arrows, acid spit and cold glares are the reality. To live, the scorpion's gotta fight. Else, pray hard that it has ascended to a phoenix by the time it is dying.

Irrational

I seem to be in an irrational mood lately. It can be clearly seen in my extravangance and no desire for social company.

Phase 2 starts.

Somehow I am beginning to have a bad feeling about the mission from the intelligence I gathered. Objective seems to be occupied.

Phase 1 complete

Task 1 complete!

Out in the field; for all to feast.

Mosquitoes are my most hated type of insects. Solely because they feed off you and make gets you irriated all over. Lately, I got myself acquainted with them all over again, thoughtfully reminded myself of the use of insect repellants. It is important to protect the self from such harm. They come to you only to get themselves favour, and give nothing back, except a lasting trace of irritation. Somehow, this applies to many people too. They come to you with agenda. Even simple compliments are laced with slow acting poisons, which secretly works it way through and killing you before you know it.
Once I had thought it was good to be transparent, and there was absolutely no need to hold back; simply get out there and show your best all the time. Lately, I was taught otherwise. Being overzealous only lands you unwanted attention and unwarranted tasks. Slowly and surely, you'd get pushed to positions no one wants to stand. Finally, off the cliff, where you either stand on safe grounds or learn to fly.
All that hazards and discomfort aside, I was quite glad to be out on the field again. Partially because it makes me lose weight, mainly because I enjoy the freedom and autonomy out there, where we can make our own decisions. The question now is, will I be able to stand doing it over and over, again and again?

Lucky chance

Could this be the chance for my lucky break?
As the saying goes, know thy enemy. Time to check things out =)

Alone

Sometimes, I really wonder. Am I better off alone?
Lately, the signs are telling me yes.

Silly Anger

I find myself silly for being angry about stupid things. Especially things that were not unfair and uncalled for. An example: a math major says "chem very easy, just memorize", while a engine major replied "like smoking right?" to a friendly suggestion. I think I must have a very low adversity quotient considering how these weird remarks get stuck buzzing in my head for long periods. Somehow I just cannot empathise with how they can manage to spurt such remarks or even conceive them in their minds! I guess the best solution to this is to shut them out. Bad hearing becomes a boon so we can hear/here no evil!

Reliance

The theme of the week seems to be on reliance. While I am not that outstanding or efficient a worker, I realised that I should rely on anybody on a minimum, ideally nil. Too many times I got disappointed when I expect things to turn out great. Perhaps I simply took things for granted that it would go well, and nothing bad should happen when I leave things be. But no, Murphy prevailed. "Unforseen circumstances" arise, and put me in a worse position when I previously was. Now I learn my lesson. While it is stubborn to blindly stick to the original plans, I should have the discipline to follow through what I had sought to do. Being too flexible with plans is not a good thing; what offers that come my way, may not always be for the good of me. Advice, favour, recognition and assistance are not always good to receive. All that glitters is not gold, just as all that is gold does not glitter.

P.S. I am a gold seeker no doubt, but I shall not run madly into a gold rush. Hopefully my patience pays off(with a rough cut diamond that no one else discovered).

Good Old Days

Looking back at the younger days, I realised the stupid things that I half wished I never did. At the same time I was elated, especially when I chanced upon a couple of photos, which brought me right back to then. I got to admit: this is the first time I had not felt bad on seeing a old photo.
As much comfort as these photos can bring, they have all but passed. Now is the time, not to recreate the past glory, but to enter a phuture better than the present. Carpe diem!

Birthdays

I know 5 people with birthdays 1 day after mine, 4 people 1 day before, 7 people on 26 oct, but none on 29 Oct.
Does that say anything special about a person I would meet that has the same birthdate?

Arthur

A classic story of an extravagant spendthrift coming round, by the magic or true love. Cliched and overused but still works I guess. While not very subtle, the depictions of social transactions among the higher class very vivid.
The idea of business matrimony both appalled and appealed to me. It is both a practical and personal preference of mine to have a life partner that can empower and elevate each other through union. Just as the classic line in the vows dictate: in poverty or in wealth, in sickness or in health; it was never "to poverty and not wealth, with sickness but not health!" Nonetheless, I would never consider life along the better half without affection and passion! It is tantamount to the murder of a soul-- lest it has been sold to the devil for power, fame, wealth or everlasting beauty.
So, to settle and get an insurance and assurance, or to strive and risk falling all alone when age catches up? Considering you only live once, it is a very grim choice, isn't it? =)

Mint

I only realised how much a fan of mint I have become.
There is mint is almost all perishable necessities I can think of. Discounting the toothpaste, there is mint in my facial wash, scrub, shampoo, body wash and wipes. To take things further, I like mint in my tea, coffee, alcohol, chocolate, cookies and water. I even almost bought a mint scented pencil, only eventually deciding on the cherry flavoured one since it smelled way better.
This doesn't count as a fetish right I hope?

Horoscope

Out of fun, I read the horoscope for scorpios on 10 May and this is what it reads:
"Maybe you didn't pursue an opportunity way back when that could have landed you in a better financial situation; Maybe you abandoned a relationship that could have resulted in a lifelong love affair; Perhaps you said something to someone that you wish you could take back.
Whatever your regret, the universe will support your efforts to be free from the need to look back and play the 'what if' game. You cannot change the past, but oyu can stop the past from darkening your future."

How timely.

How I Met Your Mother

Marshal and Lily rocks!