Finally after one whole month of abstaining-not by choice- I am back here.
Ironically, it has been quite eventful since preceptorship started. Perhaps it is simply cos of the influx of new people into my social circle.
Despite the wild happenings, I realize I do enjoy my times of being alone. Except when the loneliness sneaks up on me again and suffocates me. I stirred a little when my colleague tried to play matchmaker, and maybe a little more with another colleague who seemed to be vaguely advancing with mild interest. Today I was tempted again by a SYT. The only defenses I have against such allure is my inertia and self-disdain.
Looking at the recent company, I am beginning to worry for myself and my closer friends. Unwarranted, perhaps, but I can't help it. The constant debate between settling (both sense of the word) or waiting and reaching.
It is practically impossible to achieve a perfect balance in the tripartite or love, lust and commitment. Still the question remains-to be or not to be?
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