apt

thinking abt it.. and looking at it
it seems my blog is aptly named.
saying nothing but simply whining about mundane things.
i'm simply cold and out. stone and void of emotions.
no more blazing fire of passion
nor the silent currents of sorrow
and frankly i can't tell which is worse.

how i am fondly reminded, the sweetness of sorrow.
of how it brings clarity to the mind.
of the excruciating pain it brings, that makes even mundane passings difficult tasks.
of how the eyes swell and the nose blocks out of nowhere.
of how prepared i felt to let go of this world.
of the deep emotions i could feel
empathy for another's woe
or celebration in another's delight
not that it mattered that all these had never made me feel any better.
in fact i was sickly drawn to the sorrow.
it was almost as if this sorrow is something i hold dear, and would never let go.
my precious.. perhaps.

now it has been lost.
i may not want to find it again, yet i know, it is not up to me.
time shall come if time will come
perhaps it is better for me.
sorrow wrecks me far less than frustration does.
and above all, it grants me immunity against irrationale fools who never knew better.
we know who we are talking about.

now i know, bad karma is a good friend to have.
cos he helps "clean up" the bad stuff that others left behind.